Some of you might find this interesting. Here are some questions put to an expert on the behaviour of "troubled teenagers" in Britain (he's called Charlie Taylor... I went to university with him!) Here are some of the questions. The names of the questioners are screen names from an online forum. What advice would you give to the parents who asked the following questions? His answers can be found at the link below.
Letter Q - Quicklookbusy: How do you approach 'encouraging' a teenager with college work? My daughter is 16 and just started her A-levels. She worked hard during the run-up to exams, but during the rest of the year, she had a very laidback approach - according to her teachers as well as me. She really wants to go to university but I know if she doesn't step up a few gears, this won't happen. Any attempt to ask about work is met with a grunt! Should I back off and just let her get on with it, even if it probably means she won't work to her full potential?
Letter Q - Bigtillymint: How do you deal with a hormonal (budding teenager) new year seven who is struggling at home to manage the demands of secondary school - wanting more independence and self-management, while still needing a lot of adult support with homework and so on? What do you do about 'teenage' tantrums and rudeness in tone of voice as well as what is said?
Letter Q - Nottirednow: If you really have very well-behaved, children don't you worry about them just a little bit? Is a bit of rebellion actually a good thing? Can you suggest a way to encourage a teen to speak out more in class? They are not lacking in ability but it's not going to help them get their choice of university.
Letter Q - Lovemygirls: My daughter is only 11 but has had an attitude problem for a few years now. I can mostly deal with it by saying firmly "I will not be spoken to in that tone" and refusing to cooperate with her if she won't cooperate with me, which usually sorts things out. But since she started secondary school, she is being very argumentative and is changing her views on a lot of things to try to fit in. How should you deal with children getting more freedom?
Letter Q - Pathfinder: I've got three teenage sons and I got divorced two years ago. I've struggled to establish a relationship as their divorced mother as they only stay with me at weekends. My eldest seems to be burying much of his emotions, energy and time in his online games and chatting online to pals. His school work has plummeted, but his dad doesn't seem worried and doesn't communicate with me.
I do have some ideas - a friend recently suggested I draw up a contract with my sons for when they stay with me, that would help me keep my house tidy and raise the topics of what we all consider acceptable and what not.
My eldest can get angry and agressive when I try to set bedtime and internet rules, but I know I need to do them - somehow - but how? He is far taller and stronger and angrier and louder than I am. Shouting isn't the answer.
Letter Q - Thesecondcoming: My teenager goes to bed after a perfectly nice evening with us and in a lovely mood, but wakes up like a banshee from hell and doesn't speak to any of us - including her two-year-old sister! Unless we're all going in in the night to piss her off then I really don't know where we're going wrong.
She sometimes seems so desperately unhappy and is really unpleasant to all of us. Then, for no reason, snaps out of it. I am finding it very difficult to access my loving feelings towards her sometimes. Is this normal? Or is it because we've had another baby?
Letter Q - Castille: I'd like to know how to re-teach my 13-year-old daughter some basic rules of courtesy and politeness. She drives me insane by pushing past people instead of letting them pass (like on the stairs or on to a bus), by not looking at someone who is talking to her and not greeting people properly. These are all things she once knew how to do!
Letter Q - Redpanda: My 15-year-old daughter has just turned to the dark side and I'm struggling to readjust and remind myself to zip it so I don't react and provoke further rudeness/"I know best" responses/sulks/silences/retorts/tears/etc (delete as appropriate). My current problem is how not to react to her 'boot face', which is becoming an increasingly familiar reaction when she doesn't like what I'm saying. It drives me mad!
If I have said "no" to a request that is unreasonable and explained why, then how do I cope with the inevitable sulks that will ensure, without getting wound up at her behaviour? My husband tells me not to take it all so personally, but the problem is that I do! I want my lovely girl back!
Letter Q - Musicopsy: My eldest, who is 14, despite being quite difficult when she was little, seems to be generally sailing through the teenage years with only the odd strop. We have a very close bond and get on well together. My youngest, 11, has up until now been the easiest child to raise you could imagine. But recently, she's stroppy and difficult. Virtually everything I ask her to do is met with, "What are you going to do about it if I don't?" It doesn't matter how reasonable the request.
It's not just with me, either. For example, she was told recently to take her feet off of the seat at the theatre. She knows she shouldn't have had her feet there in the first place, but she just said "why should I?" to the lady. It's like she has to challenge everything. I worry that I am getting closer to my eldest because she is easier. I don't want the bond with my youngest to slip away. But spending more time with my youngest just seems to give her more opportunity to be stroppy with me.
Letter Q - Stayingdavidtennantsgirl: My 13-year-old son has little or no empathy with others and has real difficulty controlling his temper at home - he has sworn at me, and the only effective sanction seems to be removal of his iPod. He can be so cold and nasty - and yet other times he is loving and cuddly.
Even the dog is scared of him - he says he hates her and wants nothing to do with her, and in the past, when he called her to go for a walk with him (after the stress of getting him to accept that it was his turn to walk her), she has run away and hidden under the desk.
I am looking into dyslexia as a possible cause for this defiant behaviour. Can you suggest anything that might help? I am literally at the end of my tether. I suffer from depression, and feel like a total failure as a mother.
What advice would YOU give to the parents above?
What answers do you think Charlie Taylor [the British expert] gave [either see below in the comments or go HERE]? Do you agree with his advice?
Do you think the advice to parents and analysis of teenager problems is affected by the culture in your country?
There are several more questions and answers to be found HERE.
When it comes to motivating your children to take things more seriously, parents must aside their time to discuss this issue with their children. This can be in a form of one to one conversation (one parent, that’s closer with the child, with the particular kid) or both parents talking with the child, whatever the child feels comfortable with. During the conversation with the child, the parent(s) must bring up the consequences of not taking their everyday work seriously and why only working hard during exam week are not effective. After having the conversation, parents can set their study time, just like what Taylor had said. This allows the children to complete the tasks that are assigned to them as well as preparing for upcoming tests or quizzes. By managing time for studying, you as parents are instilling good study habit, which is very useful for your child, as they continued their study in universities.
ReplyDeleteI think one reason why the children aren’t taking their everyday work seriously is influenced by the people they surround themselves with. If the child puts themselves in an environment where many of their friends enjoy spending time doing homework and studying, then the child is most likely to do the same thing as their friends since people tend to follow the people they surround with. This same thing goes with the child that surrounds themselves with friends who doesn’t like to get things done and cramming everything at the deadline. The children’s behaviors are determined to which culture they surround themselves with.
In response to the letter of Quicklookbusy.
DeleteElia wrote: "When it comes to motivating your children to take things more seriously, parents must aside their time to discuss this issue with their children."
DeleteThe expression you are looking for here is not 'to aside time'; there is no such verb as "to aside". Instead you want to write it like this...
When it comes to motivating their children to take things more seriously, parents must set aside time to discuss this issue with them."
Note the other changes I made too.
Handling teenagers, especially the troubled ones, could be bery tricky. I would give them advice as my mother gave me advices about treating and educating children according to their era. Our parents and us don't live in the same era, we live by a completely different cultures, enviroments, rules, etc. I think this is the main problem between parents and kids these days is that they don't understand that we can't treat kids the way our parents taught us because it's not the same. We are facing different cases, more complex and complicated things. So the first rule that was taught by my mother is you have to make your children somewhat comfortable talking about anything to you, let them know that you'll always be there and support them, be the person they can trust and rely on. The second one is to make sure that your children understand that you can be both their bestfriend and their parents, in some situations like having a first crush or any school related problems you should be their bestfriend. On the other hand, there comes a time when they need to understand that you are a parent and they are your children so they need to know that you're in charge in the house because you have the responsibility to raise and educate them to be a decent human being.
ReplyDeleteAs a teenager, we definitely want to live a free, independent life. But as a parents they want us teenagers to be a succesful and decent person in the future. This two different sides are sometimes become the main reason of parents and children’s crashes. As a teenagers, I want to give some advice to parents that have troubled childrens. First is to get to know your children more. Parents need to understand their children to know what their children wants and need. Of course not all of children’s wishes is meant to be realized, but children need to understand the principle of give and receive, so that children will be a better person. However, when parents know what their children needs, there will be less crashes. In order to know children’s need, parents need to get close to their children. Be a bestfriend, and as well as a parents. This way, children will respect and love their parents more. And last, be a firm parents but with loving hearts, rational decisions and rational ways of teaching.
ReplyDeleteLetter Q - Nottirednow: If you really have very well-behaved, children don't you worry about them just a little bit? Is a bit of rebellion actually a good thing? Can you suggest a way to encourage a teen to speak out more in class? They are not lacking in ability but it's not going to help them get their choice of university.
ReplyDeleteThis question actually reminds me of me & my sister’s personalities. Technically we come from the same womb and were raised in the same environment. But as we grow, we portray a more contrary behavior. I tend to be the more outgoing and rebellious child, meanwhile my sister, I would say, is stiffer. A much obeyer of the rules. Well, how do my parents deal with it? Learning from their experience, they always tried their best to not compare us to one another. Same goes to comparing your children to their friends. Not every child has the nature to speak out in class, forcing your children to be something out of their parent’s expectation is one way to make a child feel belittled, worthless and more or less, demotivated. But some habit is buildable throughout the time. What my mother did to my sister was she always trying to listen to her, ask her how her day was, encouraging her to elaborate her stories then praise her for her effort. That way, my sister feels comfortable in speaking, and eventually gets more confident to finally then speak out it in public. Still, parents must note that everything is never instant. Try appreciating their improvement at every step of improvement they make. Therefore, children are also motivated to progress more.
Based on my personal experience, teenagers usually don't listen to their parents or teachers when they are giving advice. It's not like we don't care about their advice, it is just that we know we can do better, we know we're not doing the best we can. We just can't do it sometimes, there may be external factors and it is almost impossible to give a single advice and make that problem go away. My experience was when I transitioned from 11th grade to 12th grade where we were pushed to our absolute limits with 12 hour school days 6 times a week to focus on national exams. My parents never intervened with my academic life, they told me from the start "you're a big boy now, you know what's best for yourself". With that one sentence my whole life has been giving it my all in class, but when I got home I could do anything I wanted, I could sleep anytime I want and my parents never intervened with my life. Now here I am, at Indonesia's 3rd best university. So to keep it short, just believe in your children and support them, don't get too involved in their life it isn't urgent.
ReplyDeleteLetter Q - Thesecondcoming: My teenager goes to bed after a perfectly nice evening with us and in a lovely mood, but wakes up like a banshee from hell and doesn't speak to any of us - including her two-year-old sister! Unless we're all going in in the night to piss her off then I really don't know where we're going wrong.
ReplyDeleteShe sometimes seems so desperately unhappy and is really unpleasant to all of us. Then, for no reason, snaps out of it. I am finding it very difficult to access my loving feelings towards her sometimes. Is this normal? Or is it because we've had another baby?
I think in this case, she may be feeling lonely, lacking the feeling of loved since her parents also had a two-year-old. Cases like this usually occurred when the parents are there but not there. Let’s say they’re there physically but they’re not there emotionally. At times like this, I think the most important thing to do is to talk to her, go to her favorite place (just my suggestion to be subtle and to not make her feel intimidated), encourage her to tell you what’s going on and remember not to push her over the edge, because a lot of the times parents tend to pressure their children to speak up. So as a matter of fact, instead of feeling secure, they feel intimidated. Know that if she doesn’t want to tell nor talk to you, it’s only their ego talking. Because at the end of the day, this kind of people only want one thing, to be heard. I love the saying “Build bridges not walls”, and I think the saying is perfect for this one.
I agree with your saying ‘Build bridges not walls’ Ken. People nowadays tend to shut people out just because they don’t fit to the standards. I don’t know why people are making those standards in the first place, because I feel like all human beings should have the same rights, they have the right to live, they have the right to be treated the same way. I think people should stop judging others based on their looks, especially when it comes to women, it’s so disappointing how women nowadays would change themselves only to fit in society. I’ve read this article once about women getting plastic surgery and they turned their face into somebody famous, Kim Kardashian for instance. Its just so unnecessary, women should embrace themselves for they are all so beautiful. And a friend of mine actually hates taking photos just because they are too insecure, its crazy how one is so affected with all these standards that they tend to lose themselves, their true self.
DeleteThe first question from Quicklookbusy interest me the most. I had the same attitude during my high school years. I honestly didn’t really care about what my teacher was teaching in class, I didn't put effort to be in class discussion and only answer questions when I am asked to do it. However my mother, knowing my personality, sort of forced me to do private lessons after school. I would have tutors coming to my house every other day to teach and review about the materials in school. I’ve always despised those private lessons; it felt like they took my free time. There were times where I made excuses to not have those private lessons and went out with my friends instead. Other times, I would also beg my mother to stop having private lessons because I hated it. Despite all that, my mother never stopped my lessons, and always pushed me to do it.
ReplyDeleteAs the time goes by, I started to realize how those private lessons really helped me in class. I started to understand the materials better, and thus I can be more active in class. Those private lessons really helped me in achieving good grades. I think it’s necessary for parents to encouraged and pushed their child to achieve what they want. Their child might hate it at first, but they will know that everything was worth it when they have achieved what they want.
Letter Q - Nottirednow: If you really have very well-behaved, children don't you worry about them just a little bit? Is a bit of rebellion actually a good thing? Can you suggest a way to encourage a teen to speak out more in class? They are not lacking in ability but it's not going to help them get their choice of university.
ReplyDeleteThis question captures my attention the most, and I would like to answer it one by one. First, I would say that I had a friend who behaves nicely in front of her parents because her parents were very strict. However, outside her house, she became a very different person - in a way that she disobeys everything her parents forbid her to do. I guess teenagers have the tendency to do rebellious things, just to satisfy their curiosity. I personally think that being a bit rebellious is good because then you will understand which act is good or bad since you have experienced it. In terms of speaking out more in class, the only advice I would give is to be confident. I would say that some people are shy (which is a common problem among Indonesian students) because they are afraid to sound stupid, but the class is where you can learn together, right? There's nothing wrong about being wrong, and I would say that it is better to make mistakes while you are young so that you can learn from your past, hence you will not repeat it again, rather than making mistakes in the future.
I don't know about research, but I can answer from my perspective. Teenagers don't seek help because they don't know about it and they don't trust adults. Isn't most of the reason that teenagers are having problems in some way related to their conflict between independence and goals and the adults around them? Adults aren't a reasonable or trusted source of help. Friends are."Therapists" are for crazy people. I wasn't crazy. Teenagers are unaware that their brain isn't fully developed and don't have a long-term perspective, so problems are FOREVER. If the issue comes down to your troubled teen not wanting to communicate it's crucial to figure out how they interact. Teenagers can be some of the most challenging age of any person. They don't always mean what they say, and they don't ever say what they mean. Many times they can't figure out their feelings or emotions, and even if they're not going through a time, they may be frustrated due to now knowing what they're going through.
ReplyDeleteAnswering Quicklookbusy’s question, I appreciate my parents more when they are encouraging me to do better, but not too hard. It is better for us to have parents constantly reminding of our academic performances to go to our favorite university, but it can be annoying when they are daily reminding us and to have results that they expected from us. Personally, I prefer to have parents that support and be proud of what I achieved. This attitude is, in fact, motivates me to work harder, and therefore achieves harder than before. Another approach includes listening. Parents could ask for a minute and talk about it. There might be reasons why their performances are slowing down, and therefore parents should open their ears; try to put yourself on your child’s shoes. By communicating, they could work it out, such as children might realize and find their motivation back. In conclusion, parents should not back off and just let her get on with their children's performances, but encouraging them to step up a few gears without forcing them to.
ReplyDeleteRaising a teen isn't simple, its challenging, complicated, and needs effort. Raising a troubled teen is even more difficult. Whether your teen has matter of abuse problems, behavioural issues, or mental health problems, intervention is mandatory. In approaching teenager, its important to be proactive and supportive. The article above are examples of the common problems parents usually experience. Anger, moodiness, and rebellion are all normal characteristics of healthy development in adolescence year, so to differentiate between normal teen anxiety and more serious problematic behaviour can be challenging. My advice for these parents are: connect with your child, good communication between two parties is effective to maintain a good relationship; approach them nicely by looking through their perspective; don't be controlling or bring anger to children; seek for professional when its needed, bringing them to a therapist might help. As a teenager they also need to gain support and take care of themselves.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think being a parent or mother is an easy thing to do, especially when it comes to people’s emotions. I am a teenager but I’m going to give some of my thoughts about the issues above. First story that caught my eyes is the story from Nottirednow about a teenager who is doubted by his/her parents for being very well-behaved kind of teenager. I see that sometimes we see teenager as a rebel generation or just simply outspoken people. But, we do have to remind ourselves that everyone is different. There are still two possibilities; you are a good parent for raising a very well-behaved kind of teenager or you aren’t a good listener to your child (or children). Teenager has a lot of thoughts and mixed-feelings, and I think the best person to talk to is our parents. It’s important to give your ears to your children’s any kind of story they want to tell you.
ReplyDeleteThe second issue that caught my eyes is the story from Pathfinder about a kid that addicted to online games or chatting online with pals. Firstly, I want to thank Pathfinder for being a considerate parent. I can only imagine how strong you are for your own self and your family. As a parent, I think it comes naturally to higher your voice when you want to give your kid advice and they deny it. But, indeed, shouting is never been the answer. It only makes kid feel worse, ashamed or even makes our child being more obstinate. I think, one of the ways that Pathfinder could try is to be his/her child’s best friend in their house. Because, we need to know why he/she likes to play online games or chatting online. I think one of the reasons is to connect to other people. I think, every kid needs a best friend (or best friends) in their house.
DeleteAh, about teenagers. Although if we are talking about the age, i think my age is actually still in teenager’s range but hey, our mental age could be different from our physical one. I think one of the interesting part from the article above is one of the opinion about “If the teenagers have a good behaviour and started to do a little bit of rebellion, it is a good thing”. In my opinion, because i was told and taught in an open minded environment, i think yes, this can be a good thing. Because if a rebellion is hapenning, this means that those teenagers are actually having a conflict between what they believe and what they being told to do. Therefore, it actually means that the teenagers started to have their own beliefs in live and this is very good because it is one of the main factor of how to survive in the real world without losing your passion in life, holding your beliefs tightly. But in this case, what is bad actually if what they believe is actually bad things from their bad environment, for example wrong society that interacted with them. So at the end, what we need to do is not to stop the rebellion and stereotyping that as a one of bad-behaved teenagers, but actually how we manage them to aspiring their beliefs and opinions in a good and non-offensive way and make them have good positive beliefs.
ReplyDeleteThere will never be a right thing to a parenting life. The best way to teach your child is by being one. You should act like what you want your child to be. It is impossible to teach them using theory because they can just simply copy what you do. So don't act recklessly in front of your children. I do have an advice for parenting a teenagers. You should understand that they are in the process of growing up so they will ask you to let them choose what they want to do and they will also ask you to let them choose who they want to be. And you should not answer no to that. It is your children not your toys. I grew up as a ordinary girl, with no good grades, no achievement (I do have an achievement but it's not that much, really.), and I could not makes my parents proud of me. But they decided that it's okay as long as I am happy. I do laugh quite often and I am enjoying my ordinary life, so I guess they think that it is all that matters to them. My happiness is their happiness. By the way, writing this makes me miss my parents. <3 (Sorry for the <3, Sir. It is a heart).
ReplyDeleteRebelness is every teenagers nature habit. The difference is the high and low level of the rebelness. There are the teenagers that rebels a lot and there are the teenagers that just rebels inside their heart and doesn’t let it out. Both of this type is a problem. When the tenagers rebel a lot, the parents will get very stressed out and become superior with their child, and when the teenagers just bury their rebelness inside their heart, it will be dangerous when they have full of it and burst it out in one moment. The best solution for parents for kids like these is to be patient with them, understand them, and make them feel close to you as a parents. When they have feel close to you, they will not rebel a lot and also understand what parents want for their children. Closeness and understanding is the best way for children and parents to have the best relationship.
ReplyDeleteI think that visiting a psychologist will be the most appropriate answer to this entire parent-teenage problem especially for those parents who can no longer control their child. In the psychologist, they would be told to deliver what they think about their parents and the other way around so that, parents could know how to correct themselves first before correcting the attitude of their child. It is harder to correct our own behavior or attitude compared to correcting others. I think the responds of Charlie Taylor to the questions are alright since, he is the expert in this field. In this case, culture could play a role in the advice of parents. Parents in countries such as Japan tend to be more discipline towards their children while parents in Indonesia tend to be more chill towards their children, this would impact on how children behave towards their parents. If the parents to be more discipline towards their children, their children would be very respectful towards their parents and if parents tend to be chill to their children, the relationship they have might be like a best friend relationship.
ReplyDeleteCan you suggest a way to encourage a teen to speak out more in class?
ReplyDeleteThis is a common problem for teenagers. Many teenagers are afraid to speak out in class. It is not because they cannot talk loudly, (sometimes) it is because they are too afraid to give their opinion in class or to many people. Suggestions that I can suggest to encourage them to speak out more in class is to start from a simple thing in family by openly ask for your kids’ opinion toward something. Even if it is just an opinion about a movie you just watch with them for example. By that, they won’t really realize that they are actually practicing to speak out about their opinion. Try to tell them kindly and nicely if their opinion is wrong or not really correct. You can also be supportive to them by saying “you have a point from that, but I think it’s more make sense or better if….”. Compare to “No. you are completely wrong about that, never say that again”, same purpose but different way to deliver it can affect their motivation and confidence in giving opinion.
Teenager and parents problem are a common thing to happen. I believe that deep down inside every teenager want to be free without their parent restriction. Every child has different minds and that makes them unique. Parents need to realize that every child have their own way of raising them. Parents just can’t randomly raise their children without knowing their potential and their characteristic. I believe that every parent want the best for their children, but that doesn't mean that they have to push their children to do as what they say. Sometimes, that matter could cause depression among children because they have to fulfill what their parent want. They are fear that their parents will be mad and disappointed if they don't obey their parents. So to prevent children from feeling depression is to always understand them in anyway possible and always listen to them. If we want the best for them, we also need them to take part on their life path since it is their life not their parent life.
ReplyDeleteFrom my perspective, young people often don’t listen to their guardian, parents, or teachers when they are giving guidance or advice. I think that it’s not because of the young people don’t care about the advice or guidance, it is simply because of they know they are not doing their best but they know that they can do better. As one of the young people, I know that sometimes there are some problems that cannot be solved by a single advice. When I was a senior in high school, my parents really pushed me to my limits. I know that they are only trying to help me to graduate with a good score, but at the same time I know that they are kind of afraid that I’m not going to graduate and got accepted in the university that I want. Sometimes I feel like my parents don’t trust me with my studies, they often think that I’m not studying the right way. So one day I told them to have faith in me and just let me study the way that I wanted. A few months later I got accepted in one of the best universities in Indonesia. I also got accepted in the best faculty of economics and business in Indonesia. I believe that parents have to have faith in their children’s ability. Parents have to support them and don’t get too hands-on in their children’s life if it’s possible.
ReplyDeleteThe different point of view from teenagers that want to feel more freedom, and from parents that always want the best things for their child sometimes results in crashes between parents and their child. Sometimes, I consider my parents as a little over protective of me. Maybe it’s because I’m an only child. But, as a teenager, I feel like I want more freedom. That is why I chose to study outside my hometown. I understand that parents want the best for their children. However, I believe that teenagers have to try to go out from their comfort zone so they can survive independently in the real world. Teenagers should have more experience, so in the future they also can be a good parent for their children. I believe that parents shouldn’t be too protective to their children. Parents and their children should work together so they can build a harmonious family relationship.
ReplyDeleteHandling teenagers is a tricky thing. Each one needs to be approached differently. As a response to the case presented by Quicklookbusy, I think the first thing you need to have is patience. The next thing you need to do is make sure that your child is really not working hard on her studies. It’s possible that she studies when her parents and teachers are not around. If you act rashly and confront her when she’s already stressed enough trying her best on her studies, she may close herself off. If she’s really underperforming, I think the next step would be trying to get her in a good mood, and casually asking her what is going on. She may be facing some problems. Something you should always do is try to motivate her, and something you should never do is discourage her and scold her, especially without a proper reason. Handling your child may seem tricky, but if you stay patient and just talk to her, things could really turn out for the better. You’d be surprised how much difference asking her what’s going on rather than rashly scolding her could make.
ReplyDeleteTroubled teenagers usually related to the juvenile delinquency in sociological terms, actually it is closely related with the stereotypical characteristics of teenagers which is rebellious, self interested, and narcissistic. They can be as troubled as it said through fault of their ow, but they also can be troubled due to other factors, especially external factors. Failed parenting strategy. That is the main external factors in shaping how a children would react in a certain situation. Teenagers which categorised as troubled usually the one that have been strictly regulated by their parents in the earlier part of their socialisation process so they usually neglect to express themselves, when they become teenagers they tastes freedom to express their feelings for the first time to the public so they will seems to be rebellious. However, for me personally it is an interesting statement where rebellion is good for the teenagers in terms of flow of ideas. Because the ideas from teenagers sometimes is very innovative and can lead a major change in the world in the future.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I would agree with all of the teenagers' behavior which is explained in the article. Simply, because as a teenager sometimes I do that kind of things. For example, when I take a nap in the afternoon with a really nice mood, suddenly when I wake up, I feel something uncomfortable feeling, like I feel little dizzy or still drowsy, I will not speak to each other and will respond badly to them, everyone who tries to make a conversation with me. It happens also when I extremely get starve. But don’t worry it just happens for several times, not always like that. I’ve tried to reduce that bad behavior because I realize that it can make somebody surrounds me feel unbearable. However, I'm so lucky, because my parents are already usual with that behavior. They totally understand my behavior when I get to starve and jaded.
ReplyDeleteThe third issue I want to talk about is a story from Thesecondcoming about his/her teenager who have a mood swing within a night. I want to say that it is so beautiful to read that you and your partner try to make a quality time with your family every evening. In my opinion, I think Thesecondcoming needs to talk to his/her child in such interesting way. As I wrote last comment, I think, teenager has a lot of thoughts and mixed-feelings while teenagers have their own way to cover that up. As parents, I think it is important to look deeper on your child’s mind. I think we need to know what’s weighing their mind in the morning? What are their thoughts in the night before they fall asleep? But, I think it also important to try to respect your teenager’s privacy. As parents, I think you have instinct about your child’s feelings. But I am just a teenager who knows nothing. So, I hope there’s an easy way for you to make that connection between you and your children!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in highschool I have lots of friend who are a troubled teenagers. There are lots of reason how they became a troubled teenagers like, lack of parents attention, they grew up in hard environment, they wanted to be free with no rules and many more. But most of my friends became a troubled teenager because they just wanted to be free and don’t want to listen to their parents, because they think that their parents suggestion does not suit with their personality, especially when their parents are overprotective and sometimes this problem leads to disputes between parents and their children. And as a result their children become uncontrollable and trying to seek their own freedom and happiness without limitations. For me parents must find a way or strategy to control their children and the parents should not be overprotective to their children, so their children will not feel under pressure.
ReplyDelete