Note: you may write about a MAXIMUM of two of these dilemmas!
While your neighbour is away, you buy a pet rabbit who immediately escapes, destroys your neighbour's flower garden by eating all the flowers and then drops dead from indigestion. You bury the rabbit in your sister's garden in another city.
Do you own up to the destruction of the flower
garden when the neighbour returns home?
You and your husband/wife are both over 40 years old. You both want children.
Do you try and have a baby
even though it’s a medical risk?
You seek a doctor’s advice on a minor ailment. He asks you if you would be willing to try a new drug which has passed laboratory tests but has only just come onto the market.
Do you agree to try it?
Your 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.
Do you allow her to do so?
What about if it was your son?
You’re at a party and meet someone who has terrific film-star looks, but makes extremely boring conversation.
Would you still go out with this person?
You have a neighbour who is always boasting about his heroic exploits as an activist in 1998 during the period when Suharto fell from power. Accidentally you discover that he spent those dramatic days steering clear of trouble and hiding in his home.
Do you ruin his credibility
by revealing the information?
You discover that someone you know but do not respect is applying for the same job as you. You have some damaging information about their lack of integrity. During your interview you are asked what you think of the other candidate.
How do you answer?
You’re on a long train journey and you are chatting to another passenger you’ll probably never see again after you reach your destination.
Would you make up stories about your life and
background to appear more interesting to them?
Your grandfather lives in a village in another province. He is very old and senile. It takes two days and a lot of money to pay him a visit.
Do you visit him less often because you
think he won’t remember you anyway?
You are getting married and you receive an expensive present in the post from your favourite uncle. He lives abroad and always sends you unique gifts. When you open the present it’s broken.
Do you tell your uncle?
Your next door neighbour is collecting for a cause with which you disagree. Other people in your neighbourhood have contributed some money.
Do you make a donation anyway?
In those dilemmas, I want to talk about the rabbit situation. Maybe it’s just a minor dilemma for someone, but from this part of article, we can really see those someone that will be responsible of their actions. This person bought a pet rabbit whom escaped and destroyed your neighbor’s garden, the one thing that you should do are being apologize to them, they’ve planted those flowers for a reason either it’s just a hobby or something important, even I can’t think of anything important that are related to flowers. At least if you’re being responsible, they wouldn’t have to be worried of being confused to what had happened, which can relate to you if they asked their neighbors. Either way, the rabbit did die of indigestion and was buried in your sister’s garden. Maybe your neighbor wouldn’t even notice it, but your family members will. Which can also relate of you being irresponsible and doing things such as lying to others. And those things wouldn’t get you anywhere.
ReplyDeleteI will give my opinion about the second dilemma: ‘If my husband and I are both over 40 years old and we both want children’, I don’t think I will try and have a baby because around that age or specifically above the age of 35, because it is categorized as an old age pregnancy. Basically, all pregnancies have risks, and these risks increase in pregnancy in old age. Because a woman's egg cells have been produced from birth, the older a woman is when she is pregnant, the greater the risk for abnormalities in pregnancy. This disorder in pregnancy can not only threaten the fetus it contains, but it can also threaten the life of the mother. The age of a mother is often considered a genetic risk factor in the child, but current research shows that the age of the father also poses certain risks, especially in terms of their child's mental health. Thus, as parents in the age around 40, I think I will try to reduce my intention to have a child, and try to live my life happily.
ReplyDeleteThe second one is I’m going to discuss if ’My 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own’. As a parent, I don’t think I will allow her to do that, especially knowing that it is too dangerous for a girl to go somewhere alone. Firstly, I will ask her the reason why she wants to do that, then try to tell her how dangerous it is, and convince her to finish her study first inn university rather than taking a break. But, different stories will appear if my child is not a girl, but a boy, a 17 year old son. When he asked for my permission, same thing I will asked him first the reason, and I will look back about his performance while studying in high school. If he did great in high school maybe I will consider it as a gift for him. I think I will believe him more because he can take care about himself, and it is not too dangerous for a man. But, he will also need to promise me that after 1 year, he will go to university, continuing his study and do a good job in university.
DeleteI would like to comment on the dilemma of having children in the year of 40 even though it is a medical risk. If I were in that position, I will not consider on having children. I think it is a selfish thing to do. I will not put my desire on having children and stake the life of my future children. If I become a parent, I will try to give my best to my children and I will put his or her health and happiness first. I do not have the gut to take any risk on my children health even though I really want to have a children and share special connection and affection with them but it will also breaks my heart seeing them struggling to survive in this world. There are other ways to overcome this dilemma, such as adoption. Through this way, we are also able to help the unfortunate children on having a better quality of life. However, the feelings will not be the same with having our own children.
ReplyDeleteDilemmas are interesting. I love to make difficult situation where there aren’t much options of a solution. And all of the dilemmas in the article above are interesting and I would love to comment on all of them. But apparently we’re only allowed to write comments on two of these dilemmas. So I would like to start with the 17 year old daughter who wants to explore the world on her own. Well at this moment I can't really make a parental decision, because of obvious reasons, but I personally wouldn’t mind my daughter exploring the world. I love exploring too, and i find it fun, exciting, challenging, and relaxing. And I would want my children to go out too, and explore the world. But I will never allow them to go alone. Whether they’re 17 or not, or my daughter or my son, I will never let them explore alone.
ReplyDeleteExploring the world alone would be dangerous. Anything can happen, and when you are alone there won't be anyone there to help you or support you when it is needed. For example, you ended up in a situation where there is no one around, the nearest house, hotel, hospital, or anything that can help you are kilometers away, and your phone ran out of battery. How would you then ask for help? When you have a friend to company you, there are more chances that at least one of your phone is on. Then you can help. I would recommend anyone that wants to travel to have at least 2 friends with them, or in other words go in groups of three. With groups of three, it would be easier to coordinate when anything happens. For instance, when one of the members of the group got injured, let's say a broken leg. It would be impossible to move them to a place where they can be treated.
DeleteSo to coordinate, one will stay with the injured, and one will go to find help. In short, I would never allow any of my children to go hitch-hike around the world on their own for their own safety. Next dilemma is the one where my neighbour is collecting for a cause. Well I wouldn’t understand why I would disagree with it, because it would be for a good cause right? But if that’s the case, I would not contribute any money. Because if I disagree, it would mean that I think the cause is a waste of money and that there could be another alternate way to approach whatever issue their trying to solve. I would probably make a donation, but i would not make a donation through my neighbour. I would search for another way I could spend the money where it would actually make a change. Or even I would start one myself.
DeleteI would like to comment on the dilemma on having a 17 year old daughter who wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. Freedom is something I value a lot in life. However, when given too much, it could be abused and becomes something harmful. If I become a parent one day, I will not be the kind of parent that would monitor every single thing about their kids and control what they would do in life. I would give freedom to them so they could decide things for their own good. However, I would still guide them every step of the way, if needed. Education is also something I take seriously. If my children use their time to go to university to do something meaningful, then I would allow them. However, in this case, my 17 year old daughter doesn’t even have a plan to travel. Hitch-hiking could be dangerous, especially for a minor who travels alone. Too many things could go wrong. That is why I wouldn’t allow her to have a year off to hitch-hike around the world on her own, and I don’t think I would allow it even if it was my son, instead of my daughter.
ReplyDeleteThe second dilemma I would like to comment on is the dilemma on discovering someone I know but do not respect applying for the same job as me, and having some damaging information about their lack of integrity. Personally, I’m someone who doesn’t like meddling with other people’s business, especially if it would affect other people negatively. If I were asked what I think about other candidates during the interview, I would never tell on that person. However, since I can’t lie, I would say things that are true, such as knowing that person. Telling on someone and possibly ruining their chances of getting a job that would be their source on income is something I do not want to ever do. I would hate being put in that position. For me, even though I do not respect that person, I respect myself too much to ever become someone that would stoop that low. Moreover, I believe that if I am actually capable enough and deserve the job, I would get it without having to tell on that person.
ReplyDeleteFor the situation with the rabbit, I would consider what to do based on my relationship with my neighbour. If we’re close or have a good relationship, I would own up to the problem. It’s simply because I would feel really bad if I don’t. I’m sure that they would understand if I be honest, and I would try and do anything to help with reconstructing their garden. Also, if he/she ever finds out and knows that I didn’t admit, it would cause way bigger problems and would jeopardise our good relationship. However, if I am not close with them and never even have a conversation, honestly I would not own up to it. The bunny would be buried far away and they probably will never notice. And if they find out, I would just apologise and also help with their garden. Since we weren’t that close before, it wouldn’t be too much of a problem for me if that happens.
ReplyDelete“You are getting married and you receive an expensive present in the post from your favourite uncle. He lives abroad and always sends you unique gifts. When you open the present it’s broken.” Reading this situation honestly I don’t really find it a hard decision. I would definitely tell my uncle straight away about the present being broken. I just think that if I don’t tell him and one day he asks about it, I would have to lie, such as telling him I love it. And there could be a possibility that he wants to see it one day or asks where it is and why I don’t use it or put it on display, then he would find out eventually and it would just make him even more upset. But if I tell him right away; sure, he would be sad but at least he knows about it immediately and lets it go.
ReplyDeleteI would choose the dilemma of having a 17 year old girl who would like to have a year off first before going to university. In this case i would not straightly say no to the my daughter but i demand strong reasons on why should she go for hitch hiking around the world. I would also ask for the things that you get from this decision especially by the things that you have learned and what are the benefits for her and is it worth it to my daughter sacrificing a year off. Even if I as a parent accept the offer i would make limitations and many circumstances that are probably not purely like what she truly wants. I probably would let her go but not alone and surely having someone to guide her. I probably would like to allow her if she was joining a certain program and not alone.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion about the dilemmas about the rabbit, as the owner of the rabbit, we definitely have to own up the destruction of the flower garden when the neighbour returns home. Because this is the responsibility when you own a pet, every action of your pet become your responsibility. I could say this because I own a pet too. I own a Shiba Inu dog that I called Caesar. Caesar is a bit fierce because he has wolf gen in his blood. Well he is fierce to everybody except his owners, which is my family. Someday, when I took him on a walk, he saw a chicken and chase the chicken. Well, he did not eat the chicken but he bit the chicken and killed it. I was so shocked and couldn’t do anything when he bit the chicken because it was too fast and scary. Anyway, my family took responsibility for that and pay the chicken’s owner some money to pay up for the chicken.
ReplyDeleteThis will expresses my opinion about the dilemmas of the grandfather. If I have a grandfather that lives far away, I will still visit him as often as I could. I know that the barriers are a lot, but I also know that this activities is important. I do not think about whether he will remember me or not, but I will still pay him a visit. I realize that as a human, no matter how old you are, you need someone to be there for you. We are a social human that need other people too. So I am sure that our grandfather need someone to accompany him, be there for him. I know when I used to be a baby, my grandfather played with me a lot and accompanied me. I also remember that as a baby, I will not remember him and just like to play with him. This is the same when our grandfather is old now, maybe they will not remember us but they will like and need our company.
ReplyDeleteI want to give my answer to the third dilemma about my 17 years old daughter want to skip a year before going to university and hitch around by her self . My answer is absolute no and I will force her to continue her study at university immediately. My reasoning behind this is I believe her study is more important matter than her experience go around the world. If she skip a year of her study not only she will waste time but also a lot of money that can be actually spend on her study that will help her more in the future. Even if her trip doesn’t spend any money for her trip, the fact that she will go alone without any companion that I can trust and give me report will simply give me continuous uneasy feeling and fear if something bad happen to her while she alone in country that so far away. I will also give the same answer if it’s my son that want to skip a year of his studies.
ReplyDeleteFor the case of the bunny dilemma, it would be a straight up answer of owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for the destruction of the garden. But this wouldn’t make for an interesting blog comment if I’d just compel to normal conformity. If I knew about when the neighbors would return, and they didn’t make the choice of coming back early, I would spent all of my energy and resources to restore their flower garden and erase all evidence of the carnage before they return. Provided that this is what would ideally happen, it’s a simple case of what they don’t know wouldn’t hurt. It would also be ideal if I waited till I cleaned up the mess before going to my sister’s garden, all the way in another city, just to bury a rabbit.
ReplyDeleteFor the doctor’s case, I would accept taking the newly commercialized medication, there is only a small probability that I’m the first person to try the new drug. If a drug has surpassed all laboratory tests, and an approval for commercial use by a credible organization, it’s safe to say that it would not be of any danger to you. But if you have an undiagnosed condition that could be potentially prove dangerous if you take newly commercialized medication, you should think twice before making such risky decision.
If my 17 year old daughter want to have a year off before going to University and hitch hike around the world by herself, I would encourage her to do so, it’s a unique experience that may not have the time to do later in life and its an incredible learning experience, she would learn to get by alone and many soft skills that will always be useful in her future life no matter what she want to be, and create many unforgettable memories, and meet people and discover different culture.
ReplyDeleteSome people would be scare to let a teenager girl explore the world by her own but would be less scare if it was a boy, but what a boy can do a girl can do the same.
If we teach kids that the world is dangerous, they will never experience it fully, but if we let them explore it they will see that people all around the world have more similarities than differences.
During a professional interview, If I am ask my opinion and what I think about the other candidate, even if I would have damaging information about a candidate that I know, I do not think it is my role or even responsibility to reveal some one else secret in order to make them lose credibility in order to have more chance during that job interview. If I have information about some one lack of integrity it would be kind of hypocrite to reveal that information in that situation and it would be a lack of integrity from my side as well and giving such a strong opinion about another candidate during an interview can also give a bad image of yourself to the person doing the interviewing.
ReplyDeleteIf a person has such bad sense of integrity the interviewer would realise this itself and does not need me to critics, the other candidate
I would like to talk about the dilemma of having a baby with over 40 years. It is true that as a woman's age increases, the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome, as well as many other chromosomal abnormalities increases as well. In addition to chromosomal issues, there are more risks in general when having a baby over the age of 40 such as gestational diabetes, preterm delivery or problems with the placenta. If is the case of a first kid the probability of having negative effect is even higher and is better to not take a risk for the baby and for the mother. Nevertheless, there is always the option of adoption, which in my opinion is an incredible opportunity to give a better life and love to kids who are not fortunate. Maybe me as a parent I won’t share the same ADN with the kid but I will have the opportunity to raised the kid and love him, because the parents are the ones who raised and love the kid.
ReplyDeleteIf I have a child that's going to apply for college but he/she wants to travel the world on their own first before entering university and he ask for my permission then I am going to say no. Why? Because travelling the world alone needs a lot of money and not only that, it also need courage and responsibility. And I do not think that a 17 year old kid have enough of those things. The world is big and dangerous. I believe all parents that care for their children's well being will probably say no to this kind of request. But I do have an exception though, If I am in a situation where I am extra rich and my child ask me for permission to travel by himself at the age of 17, I will probably agree to it, But of course I will send my bodyguards to watch and keep him safe secretly whenever he goes.
ReplyDeleteIf I met a star-looking person, like Brad Pitt or Justin Bieber at a party, I would definitely want to approach him and have some kind of conversation to get to know him and if we get along, maybe go out with him. However, if were in the middle of conversation and I found him extremely boring I would straight up leave him at that party. Why? Because I am the type of person that is very easy to get bored of something/someone if they don't interest me and challenge me much. I am not easy to impress as well. Thus, if that person only has his appearance to impress me then I will leave when I get bored of staring at his star-looking face. Before leaving though, I'll probably take a selfie with him just to show my friends that I met a guy with Brad Pitt looking face & have a conversation with him.
DeleteWhen I am on train and having a conversation with strangers, I think I will not tell lies about my life, even though that it will make the story of my life more interesting. I think it is very normal that somebody tell strangers some lies in their life when actually at the same time they are trying to tell their "expectation" or "what their life wished to be" to strangers since they have never me before. Personally, I will not tell lies so that I will not get used to lie about the reality of my life. I really think that small lies will be followed up by another some lies that it will become a big story of lies that you will to cover it with another lies every time. When I am faced with this kind of situation, I would rather tell my stories in a way that is interesting to other people rather than telling them lies.
ReplyDeleteIf I do get a very important and precious gift from my uncle and it is turning out to be broken, I will not tell him. I would give my uncle’s high appreciation because I know that my uncle’s honest intention is to celebrate my wedding with gifts and I do not want for my uncle feel bad and feel sorry for himself. I will opt to keep it hidden from my uncle because I really respect and appreciate his kind intention of giving me wedding gifts. If it is possible, I will try to fix the gift so that my uncle will not feel bad and guilty for the gifts that he sent me. But if things get out of hand and my uncle does see with his own eyes that it is broken, I will definitely tell him white lies about how the gifts are broken and I will not hurt his feelings.
ReplyDeleteIn this first comment I would like answer about the ones that consider whether it is okay or not to let my 17 year-old daughter hitch-hike around the world on her own. For me it is insist no. Because based on some other people story that I’ve heard, having your own life, exploring the world by your own, and also be expose everywhere within that age is just too early and overwhelm; since within the age of 17th, the emotion, the hormone, and the thoughts are not mature enough in terms of solving problems and making decision. So, it is a very dangerous condition if I let my 17th year-old daughter escape and explore the world on her own. In other words, within the age, she is still not mature enough to enter the real struggle of life in the assumption if she is living alone. Even though she insist, then it will still be a ‘No’ until it reach the right timing and the right age.
ReplyDeleteI would comment on the dilemma of having kids at the age of 40. I don’t think I would risk having children at this age, I know for a fact that it would be dangerous both for the mother and the fetus. If the doctor says it would be dangerous for the mother to conceive baby, then I would rather follow the doctor. Other than that, the age gap between the parents and the child is too big. You would be 58 when your child enters university, and at this age you would soon be retired. As a parent, I wouldn’t want my child to suffer financially. I think it would be best for the parents to adopt a child. They could adopt someone that is old enough to understand that they are an adoptee. Therefore, the parents wouldn’t have the burden of telling the kid that they are adopted.
ReplyDeleteI'm commenting on the dilemma of trying to use a new drug offered by a doctor. first of all I would ask the doctor in which laboratory that the drug was tested in and has the laboratory in question have approved many drugs or are their reputations still questionable; next I'll ask if the drug has been approved by the Food and Drug Administration or the FDA for short and has it also been approved of international selling by the World Health Organization; I would then ask for the credibility of the doctor to the hospital management team and a written guarantee by the hospital in case anything happens to me or if there are unwanted side effects of the drug. Trying a newly developed drug can be a pain as it would not only take a lot of your time but also has the added risk of having it not work as it was intended and instead cause you more harm than good.
ReplyDelete“Your 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. Do you allow her to do so? What about if it was your son?”
ReplyDeleteWhen I become a parent and this dilemma happen to me, I will not let my daughter to hitch-hike on her own. Giving freedom to the child is important and I believe at the age of 17, she is old enough to make her own decisions. I will not be the type of parent that is very controlling but I think she still needs guidance from her parents. If my daughter wants to take a year off before university, I will let her. But during that year, she has to do something productive or valuable. However, hitch-hiking is very dangerous, especially if done on her own. Therefore, if my daughter ask me if she could go hitch-hiking the world, I would offer her alternative things to do instead. For example travelling the world with a friend and I will give her some fund so that she does not have to hitch-hike or perhaps she could join classes to develop her skills and pursue her hobby.
Answering the second question, the same goes for my son. Hitch-hiking is dangerous because they are travelling with strangers and not everyone out there is nice people. It is not that I do not trust my children, but I care for their safety and I do not want to lose them. Therefore, if they want to travel the world during their gap year, I will only let them if they go with at least one friend and they have a clear plan on where they want to go, where they will stay and how are they going to get there. Furthermore, education is something I value a lot. So when my son or daughter wants to take a gap year, I will try to persuade and convince them to go to university first but if it does not work, I will let them to have a year off but under certain conditions as discussed on the previously.
Delete“You’re on a long train journey and you are chatting to another passenger you’ll probably never see again after you reach your destination. Would you make up stories about your life and background to appear more interesting to them?”
ReplyDeleteI would not make up stories about my life and background to appear more interesting because I think personal life stories are fascinating enough especially if the other person could relate and share their stories as well. Making up stories would mean lying to other people because by telling them stories that are not true, I am creating false image of myself. Yes, I will probably never see this person again but how interesting would it be to share knowledge and experiences with someone who might come from a different background. You can get different perspective in life and see things from other people’s viewpoint which I think is really cool.
I would like to share my thoughts on what if my daughter wants to have a year off before going to university. If I am a mother, I would completely agree and support all of my daughter’s decision, as long as it is not a negative decision. I think that at the age of 17, you should know how to make your own decision for your life and not always relying on your parents. However, it is important to still ask for your parent’s permission because you’re not fully grown and 17 still counts as a teenager. But on the other hand, I would be a little worried if my daughter hitchhike around the world on her own because when a girl travels alone, the risk of danger is higher, even though travelling alone is considered risky for both girls and guys. If it was my son, I would still allow him, doesn’t matter if I have a daughter or son, I think that travelling the world on your own is an eye-opening experience that will change your perspective on this life.
ReplyDelete"Your 17-year-old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. "
ReplyDeleteAlthough I love the idea of traveling which allows anyone her to see the world and broaden her perspectives towards many aspects, I will not allow my 17-year-old daughter to travel alone before going to university.
My first reason is that she has responsibilities that she needs to fulfill, which is going to university. As a mother, I do think that I have the obligation to at least fund my children's education until she earns her bachelor degree. My first reason is that she has responsibilities that she needs to fulfill, which is going to university. Plus, there will be plenty of time for her if she wishes to roam the world; for example, she can do it during her summer or winter breaks, summer school or any events that allow her to go abroad. She can also do it after she graduates while waiting for her first job. My second reason is due to her safety, as she is considerably young and one year is not a short period of time, as this relates to my last reason which is the budget constraint. Going around the world is not cheap, and it would be better to allocate her traveling expense to things that are much more essential. Either way, this also applies to my son as I will not distinguish my children based on their gender as I will raise and treat them equally.
"Your grandfather lives in a village in another province. He is very old and senile. It takes two days and a lot of money to pay him a visit."
DeleteWith no doubt, I will still visit my grandfather often although he is old and senile and it will take a lot of time and money to visit him. One thing that my mother always remind me is that you can earn money, but you cannot buy time. I remember when my grandfather had a serious illness, I went back to Jakarta nearly every month just to visit him. Going to Jakarta from Jogja is costly and it takes a lot of time, especially when taking the train, but you never know how much time left you can cherish with the people you love. I do think that visiting your grandparents will always makes them feel content, and believe it or not, they will always look forward to the day that you will come and visit them. The fact that I visited my grandfather frequently while he was alive left me no regret, and I am glad that I made the right choice.
I would like to make a comment on the statement “You discover that someone you know but do not respect is applying for the same job as you. You have some damaging information about their lack of integrity. During your interview you are asked what you think of the other candidate.” Will I answer it? In my most honest opinion, I would answer the question, only to a certain extent. What I mean by this is, I will not give an answer about his personal life. Because that’s personal, and also counts as a violation of privacy towards my friend. I would only give an answer about certain qualities that he or she might not have, and why it would not be beneficial for the company to hire him or her. I did this because what my friend did with his personal life isn’t my concern, and that I should not care about their behaviour as long as it doesn’t concern my personal life.
ReplyDeleteYou’re on a long train journey and you are chatting to another passenger you’ll probably never see again after you reach your destination. Would you make up stories about your life and
ReplyDeletebackground to appear more interesting to them?
First of all, I always loves travelling but I hate travelling alone. But ever since I grew up, travelling alone has been my favorite things to do. I don't know what is so special about it. Maybe it gave you freedom to do anything you want? Anyway, travelling alone using trains is the best thing to do when you're feeling a bit down. It just gives you time to think about your problems, your life and your doubt.
If I ever met someone in a long journey like that, I would definitely talk honestly. Though if they seems suspicious I would be careful and will just listen to what they say. But there is nothing wrong with having an honest conversation with new people right? You will never know, that maybe they have a better story and they will cheer you up. But honestly though, if they are THAT suspicious to me, I would rather end the conversation than lying. I would rather just listen to some music rather than lying to them.
Your 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.
DeleteDo you allow her to do so?
What about if it was your son?
Right now, I honestly would allow my children (no matter if it is a daughter or a son) to take a gap year if they want to. Though it may be a little bit risky but if they do it right, they will learn how to survive in different situations and locations. She may start the journey alone, but maybe when she come back a year later she would have a lot of friends from all over the world. So, letting my daughter (or son) go to travel the world is a yes for me. But I believe as the time goes, I would definitely say no to this. Throwing my children to the cruel world out there alone? Hitch-hiking? It is a big no to me. Just like what my parents do now, they always told me to be cautious here (in Yogyakarta) and they also told me to take care of myself every single day. Maybe because I am the only daughter in the family (and I am also the youngest).
If my 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own I would allow her to do so. I think that travelling the world by her own would be an amazing experience that would be very rewarding for her; she will discover new cultures, new languages, meet new friends from all over the world, it will make her more open minded, she will learn to be more autonomous and how to deal with difficult situations by herself. I would trust her to know which situations to avoid and follow her instinct when she doesn’t feel comfortable with someone that accepted to drive her for example.
ReplyDeleteConcerning the question about if it was my son, I would of course also allow my son to do so. I think that no difference should be made between our children according to their gender, if we think that a boy could travel the world on his own then a girl should also be able to do so.
If my next door neighbour is collecting for a cause with which I disagree and other people in my neighbouhood have contributed some money, I will not make a donation. Of course, I think that it is a great thing to collect money for a cause and to make donations but, in my opinion everyone should help causes that they really care for and make donations according to their beliefs.
DeleteIn this situation, my next door neighbour is collecting and my other neighbours contributed to the collect. So there might be some form of social pressure to contribute as well, to not feel excluded from the neighbourhood, or because you don’t want your neighbours to think that you are a bad person that doesn’t want to help others. But I believe that it is better if you explain them that you prefer to give your time or money to another cause that you find more important or in which you believe more.
Now I’m going to discuss about the first dilemma: “While your neighbor is away, you buy a pet rabbit who immediately escapes, destroys your neighbor’s flower garden by eating all the flowers and then drops dead from indigestion. You bury the rabbit in your sister's garden in another city.” This could end up in two conditions. If I’m on my good side, I would tell my neighbor about this accident. I will tell him nicely, and maybe say it is partly my fault that I didn’t take good care of my rabbit good enough. I would also tell them that my rabbit also died, so it seems like I have a difficult time on my own. On the other hand, if I’m on my bad side, I wouldn’t tell my neighbor that it was my rabbit’s fault. I also lost my rabbit, so just consider it even because we each lose something. But it would be very mean, and it is not recommended to take that choice.
ReplyDeleteNext, I would like to discuss another dilemma which is: “You discover that someone you know but do not respect is applying for the same job as you. You have some damaging information about their lack of integrity. During your interview you are asked what you think of the other candidate.” Personally, at first, I would feel pissed off because I’m competing with the person I don’t respect to fight for a job. If I were asked about what I think about that person, I would tell the truth. If I have some information about his lack of integrity, I would tell to the interviewer. If I’m in a good mood, maybe I would tell about something good about him. It would hurt a little, but it is the truth. Even though I don’t respect the person, it wouldn’t hurt to tell a little truth. What I should concern is about the outcome of the interview.
ReplyDeleteIf I received a gift from my uncle that lives pretty far from me and it gets broken on its way to me, I would most likely be honest to my uncle about it. But, I will certainly tell him if I could get a fix of it so it wouldn’t be a waste. In my opinion, presents especially the ones from our family member are very precious to keep. To me, the thing may not really matter, but it’s the pure intention and the generosity behind it. Family members always put their best effort in showing their affection towards each other. Such affection can be shown as some of them may never forget your big day or other important dates of your life such as birthdays, marriages, etc. For example, my grandmother will never forget my birthday. I can only wish she will live long enough to remember my wedding..
ReplyDeleteWell I’m not going to answer all of them; I will answer some of them that attract me to answer it.
ReplyDeleteFor the first one, do you own up to the destruction of the flower garden when the neighbor returns home? I am going to tell them for sure! Firstly I will apologize to my neighbour and tell them that it was beyond my prediction. I’ll tell them that I didn’t know that a rabbit could do such thing! Because so far all I know about rabbit is that they might be eating vegetables, but only specific type, so technically they won’t do a big damage at all. So definitely after I apologize, I will try to offer them, a renovation of their flower garden, using my own money. The purpose of my action was to show my sign of responsibility towards things that are related to me, we need to learn how to solve everything with the right ethic.
For the second one, my cousin has the exactly same case. She and her husband have been trying to have a baby since they really want a child. However until now, their attempts did not work out. Well in my point of view, I will give it a try for one last time even though there is a high chance of medical risk, but first, I will try to have a discussion with our partners, because every decision must go both ways, it must be a collective set of agreement from both side. Then, if it turns out a success, then I know exactly what are the risks and I’m ready for it. However, if it did not work out, there is still several alternative that we can do, for example; we can still go for an adoption, there are still many children outside that needs a home in this world.
ReplyDeleteI think the fourth case is quite fun!
ReplyDelete“Your 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.”
I think it’s tough for a parent to make decision on this. I’m sure that parents want their child to go to the university. They believe that education comes first. So, will I allow her to do so? Nope. Whether it’s my daughter or my son, I won’t allow them. They’re still 17 and they don’t know what problems they might find if they go on their own. I will tell them to go for education first.
For the fifth one, would you still go out with this person? If he makes extremely boring conversations then the answer is no! The only thing that connects between new person and me is the conversation between us. If he creates boring conversations then I won’t go out with him!
Everybody has imperfections. It is just the matter of whether the flaws are visible to others or not, that distinguishes among humans. I believe that in life we have some acquaintances that we consider do not respect others or maybe something else that is negative, but we have to also think that they also has a strength. So, in my opinion, it is a very common thing to spoil the weaknesses of other candidate that is applying for the same job as ours, moreover the same position, too. I believe that nowadays situation has a very high competitiveness level since employment is getting lower and lower, well, especially in Indonesia. Interview part is one of our advantages because it’s common to be asked about other candidates, and we can say whatever we want because it’s our freedom of speech. Moreover, honesty is also one of the keys to success, so why not tell the truth instead of hiding one’s disrepute?
ReplyDeleteMaking up stories about our life and background to people we’ll probably never see again is one interesting thing to be done at least once in our life. I consider myself as a person who puts honesty above others. But, sometimes life needs to be given a fun experience, so, why not? This thing has been spinning around my mind for a long time actually. It hits me when I was on an eight hour train ride from Jogja to Bandung and a person sitting next to me was initiating a conversation. I didn’t have much time to think about whether to talk the truth or making up stories though, so, I just told my true story. Well, I kind of regretted it. Actually I have done it when I was in the middle of taxi rides, I twist my background a little, but it’s because a safety reason to not spoil too much about your background to the drivers. So I was just making up a different story, and it was a fun experience that I definitely will do more.
DeleteI like this kind of article related to dilemmas problem because it involved your logic and feelings in term of making difficult decision. Therefore i have decided to pick a problem where my future daughter who wants to take a year break and travel around the world before she enter university. In this case, what i’m going to do is that i will allow her to do so. Why? because if my daughter wanted a break, i have to assume that she is probably be tired and distressed with all the routines. Therefore if i forced her to enter the university in her current state, it’ll definitely be a big burden for her which eventually will affects her educational life badly. However, before she did so, i have to make sure that the true intention of this break was to actually refresh and stabilise her mind therefore she’ll be ready and prepared to enter the university life.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many cases in this article and almost all of them are giving me dilemmas. The last one about donating to a cause is honestly the one where I really have trouble in answering because I have thought about this situation so many times. In a supermarket in Indonesia, a supermarket usually ask their customer whether to donate the change if it is 100 or 200 rupiah. I always agree to donating it because I think that it is just a small amount of money. However, I have read in an article that not all of the donation goes to a charity. Half of the money are for the company itself. Because of this, I am being skeptical every time the cashier asks me whether to donate it. Instinctively I said yes but I always regret it after saying yes. So to answer the article, yes I will still donate because I just feel like it is the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteThis article was really fun and interesting to go through. The two dilemmas I chose are You and your husband/wife are both over 40 years old. You both want children,Do you try and have a baby even though it’s a medical risk?and You’re at a party and meet someone who has terrific film-star looks, but makes extremely boring conversation.Would you still go out with this person?. I am going to start of with the first one. I think if something is risking your health and safety, you shouldn’t do it. When people say that your health is expensive, I do think it is true. So, if something is a risk or threat to your health I don’t think it is worth it to go through. For the second dilemma. Even if it’s someone famous, if they are not capable of making an interesting conversation. I don’t think I’d go out with them. It doesn’t matter whether they are famous or not. If you make boring conversation then I don’t think I’d go out with you.
ReplyDeleteI am going to talk about the rabbit dilemma. My parents always tell me to be responsible, and I always tried to be, even tough being responsible is hard and even maybe it comes with consequences. So, the first thing I am going to do is, I am going to tell my neighbour that my pet rabbit, had already damaged their flower garden and eaten all of the flowers, and after that I am also gonna say that I am sorry. The second thing that I am going to do is being responsible, by asking my neighbour, if they want me to rebuild and replant their garden and flowers. Also, I am going to pay for all the cost that it takes to rebuild and replant the garden and the flowers. Lastly, I am not going to buy another rabbit, because I learned from my experience. Also, I do not prefer to have a pet rabbit because they die easily.
ReplyDeleteI am going to discuss about the visiting grandfather dilemma. I also have a grandmother who lives pretty far away in the city. Every time I visited her, she was so happy, even though sometimes the visit only lasts about ten to fifteen minutes. From this experience, I know that even a brief visit will give happiness to our grandparents, because I know most of the time they will felt lonely. I also believe that, it is our duty, for us grandchildren to take care of our grandparents, not only to take care for our parents only. So, in this case, if I had a grandfather who lives in another province in a village, and if that it takes a lot of money and effort to visit him, I would still visit him, everytime I get the chance and the time. Because, I know it will give him happiness for a moment, even though he might forget about it later on.
DeleteMy first situation is "Your 17-year-old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.". As a parent, I would never allow my children to have a gap year, because time is money, and for me if the reason why they want a gap year is hitch-hiking around the world, it is invalid. Having a gap year is risky, because somehow if the activities you are willing to do during gap year is not productive, you are just wasting your time. Therefore, if I am a parent, I would persuade my children to straightly apply to college. The second situation is "You and your husband/wife are both over 40 years old. You both want children.". If I am that old and I have not been blessed by God with a child, I would adopt rather than risk my partner and my own health conditions. It is risky to try having a baby at that age because we would usually have our own health complications, and there is a possibility where having a sexual intercourse might end up with a sickness that can possibly lead to death. Just to play it safe, doing adoption is an alternative.
ReplyDeleteFor my second comment on this post I want to answer the fifth dilemma about someone we meet at a party that has terrific film-star looks, but makes extremely boring conversation. To be honest I wouldn't go out with that person. Rather than go out with a person that only have the look but cant offer any engaging conversation, I will play games on my computer all day long and never go to any party in my life that makes my parents so concern they call a psychologist to the home to get me out of my room. That how much I hate to be with people that I just cant have a good conversation with, luckily I never found someone that gave me so much boredom just by having a conversation that I want to plug my ear with a cotton or run a way through the window so I can stop the conversation.
ReplyDeleteIf my rabbit destroyed my neighbour’s garden while they were away, I would tell and say sorry to my neighbour about the mess that my rabbit have made to their garden as soon as they return home. I hope they will understand that it was an accident and I never meant to do that on purpose. It is important to have a good relationship with your neighbour. They are the closest one who live beside your house. They might be the first person who will help you when you are having a difficulty or when you are facing a problem. Therefore, I don’t want to have a bad relationship with my neighbour just because about this problem. Afterall, it was my rabbit and that means it is my responsibility to change all of the mess that my rabbit made. I would definitely say sorry to my neighbour and promise them that I will be responsible with all of the mess.
ReplyDeleteI would like to comment on the second dilemma, if my wife and I are both over 40 years old, I would still try even though it’s a medical risk. I knew people who had baby in their late 30s to 40s. One of my teachers back in my secondary years had a baby when she was in her late 40 years old. I believe that having a child is a gift from God. In case it does not goes successful, I would not force and maybe adopting a baby might be an option. As there should be someone taking care of the business that I might have in the future, there should be someone taking care or spending money that I have when I died. Before we die, we should experience the feeling of having a child. Aside from it making us happy, it also makes our parents happy as they must want to have a grandchild since years ago.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent I would support my children at my best. Having a teenager kid is not easy as they feel like they are adult and like to make crazy decisions. If I have a 17 year old son or daughter who wanted to hitch-hike on their own as a parent, I would not disagree to it as they are in the phase of learning, in the phase of gaining experience, I would just tell him or her the dangers of the action and let them make their own decision. I believe that I had grown good personalities in them that could lead them away from bad activities. As a parent, all I would do is to packed them with enough money and keep checking on their updates so that, I knew that they are fine. Different people have different ways of learning, some learnt from other’s mistakes and some want to learn from their own mistakes. If my child wants to gain that experience by themselves, I would not stop them as it will lead them to a better future.
ReplyDeleteShould my daughter want to take a year off before going to university, I would allow it. It would be no different should it be my son. If I am not mistaken, gap years are quite a popular concept. Although it is more popular in European countries in general more than in Asian countries. I believe that the gap year could be utilized to gain experiences. And it could various forms of experiences, Although I would expect it to lean more towards social experiences than academic experiences. I think through the global travel, it also enables my child to have a wider knowledge of the world and along with that the understanding of how various cultures blend. Perhaps they could draw how the adult life functions with their travelling experience. Alongside this, they are more prepared to face university since they are capable of handling the social aspects of university life.
ReplyDeleteYou discover that someone you know but do not respect is applying for the same job as you. You have some damaging information about their lack of integrity. During your interview you are asked what you think of the other candidate. How do you answer?
ReplyDeleteTo begin with, I must explain a few things about my life principles. Every time I meet someone new, I instantly give them the utmost respect. Why? Because I’d like to treat others the way I want to be treated. I wouldn’t like having strangers disrespecting me in any sort of way, or at the very least, be neutral/passive to me. So, this brings back to the point I’m trying to make: if there’s someone that I do not respect, it means they have either done something awful towards me or something I deem as immoral. Now, before I answer the question, we need to keep in mind that finding a job is actually a competition. Truthfully speaking, I think it should be rational to tell the interviewer a couple of negative information about your competitors as long as they aren’t unnecessary details. After all, it is vital and helpful for companies to find the right employee instead of hiring the wrong one.
You and your husband/wife are both over 40 years old. You both want children. Do you try and have a baby even though it’s a medical risk?
DeleteFor a start, let’s ignore the question involving with the medical risks and instead, focus on the bigger problem which is: (for males) does your pee-pee still work? As of for the females, are you ladies still fertile? These are the questions we need to answer before moving on to medical risks. As we get older, our reproductive part gets more defective and especially for the females, their fertility chances lowers when they hit their 40’s. In terms of medical risks, according to my research, “about 34 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage for women ages 40 to 44, and 53 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage for women after age 45.” Those percentages do not look convincing, the chances of a woman aged 40 or above to get pregnant is already slim enough and now adding the chances of a miscarriage makes it a terrible idea to have children at the age of 40 or above. However, there’s actually a loophole to this that some of you have already acknowledged: adoption. On the serious note, please don’t take risky chances. Practice safe sex, avoid inconveniences.
I can’t stand sitting quietly on a long journey, so I would love to talk with another passenger. However, making up stories to appear more interesting to them? I think I won’t do it. I will find interesting topics and try to find common things between us so the conversation will go smooth. By doing that, I don’t need to make up any stories plus I’m being honest too! I’ll probably never see him/her again, but there’s a chance that we’ll keep in touch via social medias. So I think, it’s better to tell the truth than making up stories.
ReplyDeleteWell here’s my last answer for the last case. Since I disagree with the case, then I think I won’t make donation. People have different opinion and the others should respect it. In this case if I disagree with the cause and I don’t make any donation, I think my neighbours should respect my decision. Well, I didn’t do anything wrong right? Hehe.
“You discover that someone you know but do not respect is applying for the same job as you. You have some damaging information about their lack of integrity. During your interview you are asked what you think of the other candidate. How do you answer?”
ReplyDeleteI think I wouldn’t have taken the chance to degrade that person in any way. Because in my opinion, it’s really unprofessional and it would be so low of me if I took the chance as a cue to expose him/ her. If I were in such circumstances, I would answer rather diplomatically so instead of degrading him/ her, I would list all the things on how/ why you won’t be disappointed with my works and assure them that I have the skills needed for this job. Because I believe the saying “Everything happens for a reason”, if I didn’t get the job then it’s just not meant to be and I should take it as an experience as well as self-introspection to improve myself.
I would like to discuss dilemma 4 about having a 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.
ReplyDeleteFor this matter, I would let her take a year off before going to university and do whatever she desires on one condition, she must learn something useful from it and be able to apply it in her daily life. I would even encourage her to take a year off if she doesn’t seem ready for university as I understood what she’s feeling and have even considered taking a gap year myself, feeling mentally unprepped for university just yet, but having traditional parents of course restrained me from doing so and I believe by letting her take a year off, she would learn the independence and maturity needed to make the most of university. I would agree if she told me she would like to travel around the world as it would give her the chance to learn some valuable life lessons she wouldn’t have learnt elsewhere. However, I would oppose, by any means necessary if she proposed to travel alone, moreover, by hitchhiking. Although I do agree that at the age of 17, she’s mature enough to present a well-reasoned, thoughtful response, and is probably mature enough to make an adult decision about her future, her safety and security is forever my responsibility to take and I believe that traveling the world alone is not the best thing to do. Instead, I would convince her to join gap year volunteer programmes or camps that allows her to travel around the world, learning various new things and meeting lots of people from different backgrounds and ethnicities with the supervision of someone experienced. This way, it would be so much more effective than traveling alone, hitchhiking some stranger’s vehicle and prevents the possibility of her being in danger. Same goes if I have a son instead of a daughter as I would treat them unbiasedly and give them equal opportunities.
About the bunny situation I will definitely own up to the destruction of the flower garden when they got back home. I would explain what happened, tell them how sorry I am and ask what can I do to help them fix their garden. I never own a pet in my life but I know that having one comes with a responsibility for everything they've done. The next situation I would like to talk about is the broken gift from my uncle. I would definitely straight up call my uncle that the gift that he sent was broken. I would also asked him if there's anyway I could fix it so it wouldn't be a waste. Besides, it wasn't our fault in the first place that the present got broke and I wouldn't wan't to waste his money and time of him to send me this gift goes to waste.
ReplyDeleteI’d say the dilemma about having grandparents who lived far away from us is relatable to most people nowadays. Even if some people had the money to do so, they might not have the ability to make time for visiting their grandparents. If this case were to happen to me I’ll try to visit my grandparents as often as I can. But, If I have a child I would definitely prioritize my time for him/her rather than visiting my grandfather. If I were to visit my grandfather I would bring my family as well so that he will feel loved and happier. I won’t ever think that visiting him is a waste of time as he might not remember me well enough due to his age, rather I’ll try to make him experienced the warmth of family as much as possible during his golden years. As there is a lot of people out there who won’t have a chance to visit their deceased grandparents, I think it is our duty to treasure them as much as we can.
ReplyDeleteIn the dilemma about trying new drugs for minor illness, I’m pretty sure that most people would decline this offer. Even though the products had passed laboratory testing, we can’t assume that the products are 100% safe for consumption especially the long run side effects. There might be some who believed that it is considered a good deeds to accept the offer so that the drugs will have the potential to be mass produced and possibly cure disease more efficiently compared to existing drugs. But in my personal opinion, it is still not worth the risk of harming your own health, in the long run, considering that these drugs are only used to treat minor illness. As I believed that most drugs used to cure minor illness is already sufficient for everyone’s needs. However, the case would be different if the newly introduced drugs are used as the last option to treat an incurable disease such as AIDS, the option to take the drugs might be a noble option to choose in exchange for the risk.
ReplyDeleteFor all the dilemmas that you’ve given, I will pick the grandfather one to discuss my decision. First, I believe that the question itself reflects how people always fall into the trap of the world’s most toxic incentives; recognition. If the reason behind you saving someone is for that person to remember the good deeds which you’ve done, then perhaps you’re not a good person after all. Although it is important to take note that ignoring the temptation of having someone remember you for your efforts is something that’s hard to resist, let alone by a population who find it hard to resist the temptation of watching porn. With that said, my answer is that it depends on the personality of my grandfather. However, it might sound unfair as you can’t simply expect someone way older than you to be compatible with you in any of the aspects that you could think of as your own selfish requirements that you use when you try to make friends. Therefore, I would limit the kinds of behaviours which I see to irritate me to a very small number. Next, if the thought or temptation of seeking for recognition of my grandfather (which I doubt would never happen as you can’t expect someone who doesn’t remember you to even have the time to judge and see the worth behind your actions) and other people (which in this case is more likely compared to the former as my grandfather’s neighbours would probably notice my visits) ever crosses my mind, then I would choose between not visiting my grandfather at the moment until such temptation finally ceases, and visiting my grandfather while being mindful of my surroundings as to make sure that no one sees me as I entered my grandfather’s house.
ReplyDeleteFor the dilemma where I receive a broken present from my uncle, I would tell my uncle that the package is broken. Of course, if we receive a broken unique present from one of our beloved ones, our response is to tell the sender that the package they sent is broken so that they know that we are not receiving the present in the best condition, for transparency. I will tell my uncle about the broken package because I want to know if he purposely sent the package in a broken condition or not. If I weren’t informed by my uncle that the package is supposed to be broken, then I would help my uncle resolve this issue with the package courier since they are responsible for sending the package that was sent by my uncle. How the conflict should be resolved, I would leave that to my uncle since the problem is between the courier and him. I would respect my uncle’s decision whether he asked the company for compensation for the damage they had done or just walk away and forget about the problem. Overall, when we receive a broken present from our beloved one it’s best, to tell the truth regarding our broken package to provide the transparency that the package they sent is not in the same condition as when they sent it to us.
ReplyDeleteFor the dilemma where my 17 years old daughter/son wanted to go around the world for hitchhiking alone, I will most likely respond with a no. However, I will allow them to go if they were going with a hitchhiker expert. Well, the reason why I didn’t want them to go alone is because for their safety and they're own good. If they were to go alone and something bad happened to them, like falling from a high place that causes their bones to break, who will help them? Also, another reason why I wouldn’t allow them to hitchhike alone for a year before going to university is that I want them to be prepared for university. I want my kids to be more productive, like perhaps taking lessons or taking a part-time job. I would much rather have my kids be productive for a year where they can accomplish many things rather than going on a hike where they only waste money and putting themselves at a very high risk of having an injury from hiking.
ReplyDeleteFor the one about my grandfather living far away, I would try to visit him as much as I can. I love my grandfather very much, he’s a great man and has given me nice childhood memories from taking care of me. I feel bad if I don’t visit him especially when he has taken care of me when I was a baby. If he’s really old and sick then I will definitely try to tell and convince my parents to let us all visit him (because I don’t have any money to go there by myself) because he needs someone to take care of him and talk with so he is not lonely. If my parents says we cannot go there often, then maybe I can go there once with them and try to take him back to our house so he doesn’t have to live far and we can take care of him.
ReplyDeleteThe next case about my favourite uncle, I feel sad and guilty for his special unique present to be broken. I feel even more guilty because it is an expensive present that was he bought and chose really hard for me. I don’t want to tell him so that he can be happy but I also don’t want to lie to my family and make them angry when he knows that I was lying and it is broken. I think I would tell my uncle about the broken present because if he knows it was the mail’s fault for not being careful, then he will not be angry with me. We will probably both be sad but I can still get another gift if he feels bad or try to fix the unique present with him the next time he visits. And because he is my favourite uncle and we have good relationship with each other, he will understand.
ReplyDeleteI came to lots of parties and i meet many new friends because i believe that by coming to lots of parties you will gain many more new friends or even the next girl or boy who will you go out with. I also have many experience about awkward introduction to new friends. So when we talk about facing the dilemma of meeting a person that has a terrific film star look but makes extremely boring conversation there are still lots of things that we must see. Firstly, see if the guy or girl is actually sober not drunk because we all know that when meeting drunk persons in party it can be a totally different case. Secondly, check if the person has somehow a relation to you, whether he or she is friends of your friends or anything so we can know the person deeper. These are things that you must do when meeting people in parties.
ReplyDeleteI would like to comment only on one dilemma, the one I’m choosing would be the second one: if me and my wife would want to have children even though we are at the ripe old age of forty. The first thing that I need to consider is our health, it would be a shame if our future children would meet all sorts of trouble if we passed away before their maturity. And the second thing I would consider is whether I am financially stable or not, I wouldn’t want to bring a child to live if I can’t support it. Or a second option is to adopt a child that’s already in their teen years. Sure, it wouldn’t be as fun or as amazing as bringing our own biological child, but I’m sure it would still bring a lot of interesting perspective and lessons to me and my wife’s eyes.
ReplyDeleteI would like to apologize, on second thought, I would like to comment on another dilemma, the other one I want to talk about is the interview. It’s a competitive world out here, in this economy, everybody needs to fight for the job they want, and I wouldn’t do it any differently. It’s just a guy I know; it’s not specified that he is a friend. A relative, or any other significant person to me, therefore, I will tell the truth. There must be some sort of reason on why I don’t personally respect someone so ill tell the interviewer so. I wouldn’t want to harm another’s person reputation just for the sake of him looking bad, but I would tell for it for the sake of getting a job myself. To be fair, it’s not a pretty hard dilemma, I would suggest anybody to be competitive in getting their wanted jobs, even if you have to cut some ties.
ReplyDeleteThis article is very interesting. It’s too bad that we can only answer maximum two of the dilemmas above because I think I would answer all of it. Since I’ve got to choose two from those dilemmas above, I would choose two of the most interesting topic for me. First, I want to answer the dilemmas about when someone I do not respect applied the same job as I did. If the interviewer ask me about my opinion towards the other applicants, I would not hesitate to not answer it. I will be neutral and get this job by competing fairly with the others. Why ? Because I think it’s not professional to snitch someone else, even if you don’t like that someone. Also, I think even if you snitch that someone to the job interviewer, I think you won’t get the job anyway, because a good employee should be able to separate personal issues from work.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I would like to answer the dilemmas about the old and senile grandfather living in different province. Yes I would definitely, one hundred percent, pay him a visit regularly. Since it is so far and costly, I would work harder to make money so that I can take a good care of my grandpa. I might have experienced a similar thing this dilemma topic. I used to have an super old and senile grandpa live in Kudus, a small city near Jepara. Technically, he’s my pa’s uncle but he took care of my pa in his childhood, so my family are super close to him. My family visited him regularly, since he lives only with my pa’s auntie (which is his sister) which is also already super old. Even though he barely remember my name and always ask the same question repeatedly, but I do really enjoy spending my time with him. He was a real jokester. He passed away two years ago but I have no regret considering I’ve been there in his older days, even in the last few days of his life. Rest in peace gramp :)
ReplyDeleteTo donate or not?
ReplyDeleteI would not make the donation to the next door neighbour which is collecting for a cause that I disagree. Even though all of the other neighbours donate to the "wrong cause" within our point of view, we must stay with our principle to not donate. We must look from a point of view where the neighbours might not fully understand what the neighbour is trying to achieve. Some things to consider when looking to donate to a certain cause is the principle, vision and mission. When we take into account these three factors you can then fully understand what they are striving for and the things they try to achieve. From a social point of view it may seem that you are the odd one out and some kind of social pressure is put upon you. As a conclusion we must take into account various factors regarding our actions so that we make the right one.
Rabbit Case
ReplyDeleteIt is only right that we make up for the destruction that our rabbit did because after all we own the rabbit. When the neighbour comes back I would be honest and come up to his or her house to talk about the incident. I would first ask for an apology regarding the incident and then pay attention to their response. After that the offer to fully repair and replace the neighbour's garden is put on the table. I would consider their reaction if they refuse, I would ask a second time to make sure but if they insist then I will not force them. But if they agree for me to repair and replace the garden, I would happily help. To explain to our neighbour the whole course of the tragedy is important and then to maintain a good relation. Because after all they maybe the ones to help you in the event of an emergency.
I can’t forget a phrase that Ms. Suzie told us on one of her Indonesian Language and Culture class: “You are the story of yourself.” She told us that it is one of the human nature where a person would only tell things that he or she wants other person to know only. In other words, if you don’t want to tell your ignominy, then you would never do so. In summary, you will make your own story, dramatising and exaggerating the story, or simply don’t say anything to other people. You are building the image of yourself. People will refer to that.
ReplyDeleteI personally would raise my children in the same way for both boy and girl. I would not differ them based on gender. This is because my parents raised me like that too. During my childhood, I had the same responsibility to wash the dish, sweep the house tiles, and so on. If then I think that I could give my trust to her, I would let her travel by her own to see the world.
In the post it says that we can write about a maximum of two dilemma cases. So, in this first part, I will talk about the gap year situation. It says that my 17-year-old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own and as for me, the parent, I have to decide if it’s a good choice for her in the year she spent travelling around the world. The term of a student or a youngster who has just finished their school and wanted to go around the world to gather experience before they could enter a university is called gap year. If I have to say, most of the people in Indonesia would rarely take a gap year since their parents would definitely persuade their children to go to a good university after they finished their high school. However, there is one thing that I wanted to address first before I’m going discuss this dilemma.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that I wanted to address is the condition of today’s parent’s mindset. Right now, there are few parents who will give their children the freedom that they wanted. One of the freedoms that most of the children wanted is the ability to go anywhere they want. However, to fulfill that wish they need a large sum of money and since the children can’t really make their own money to fulfill their wishes, the only thing that they could do is to beg their parents to give some money for them. Now back to the parent’s mindset, most of the parents nowadays wouldn’t just gave their money for their children to spend it for going around the world. The children would probably say it to their parents that they wanted to gather some experience before they went to the university. As for the parents, they wouldn’t think the same but rather, they would think that it was just going to be a waste of money and the money itself should be use for their children tuition fee in the university. Even though I said all that, there are some parents who thinks differently and trust their children to gave a gap year. But the question that the dilemma is asking, what if the child in question is a girl?
DeleteFor me personally, if the child in question is a girl, at first, I would reject her and see what is her reason for doing this gap year. If the reason is invalid or she just doesn’t want to go to the college, I will reject her immediately. But if the reason she gave is pretty reasonable, I would think about it first and discuss it with my wife and then decide if it is good thing to for her. But what if the child in question is a boy? Well I would definitely give the same response as the girl: reject him first, see what is his reason for the gap year, if it’s not convincing then I wouldn’t let it go, but if it is convincing then I will discuss it with my wife and see the outcome. In the end, you could say that my mindset is the same to those of the old generation but still, we don’t really know if we will still say the same thing in the near future. Would we keep our children from doing this gap year and to tell them to pursue their study in university? Or would we let them roam around the world for a year to gather enough experience before they move on to study in university? We don’t really know what the future hold for us.
DeleteNow for the second part that I wanted to comment on, is the train journey with a stranger. It is said that you are on a long train journey and you are chatting to another passenger that you will probably never see again after you reach your destination. Now the dilemma in question is, would we make up some stories about our life and background to appear more interesting to them? The dilemma in question appear because the people that we talk to is a total stranger for us and we will never see them again in our life. But if we do meet the again, well let’s just say it’s the work of fate. Jokes aside though, I think that we would make up a story of our own life because we wanted to make our story interesting to them and the conversation itself would continue. I mean since it is a long train journey, why not make it interesting so that the both of us wouldn’t be bored during the ride?
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I wouldn’t really made up some stories about my life in the middle of a long train ride. At first, I tried to made up some things but then I realized, if I tried to lie about the stories of my life, I have to think about from the scratch. What I mean by this statement is that when we lie about our story, we have to think what the speaker, our opponent in talk, are going to ask next. And if the chat is still going strong because our story is pretty interesting, for me personally, it would definitely drain our mind in a disturbing way because we have to keep on lying. If you are the sort of type of people that could think fast and keep on producing fake story nonstop, you’ll probably have no problem whatsoever. But if you have the same type of problem as mine and you wanted to make your life story interesting, the easiest thing to do is to mix some of your lies with some fragment of your real-life stories. That way, you don’t have to think really hard to tell an interesting story. Then again, its your choice to make up some stories for the other passenger.
DeleteFor my first dilemma, I would like to talk about the third dilemma that offered above. Maybe, if I have a minor ailment, I will not visit my doctor because most minor ailment can be treated by the patient themselves, so the professional help won’t be necessary. But, if I visit my doctor and he/she offered me new drug which has already passed laboratory test; but has only just come to the market, maybe I’ll refuse it and get a medicine who has already trusted by many people. It’s not worth the risk even though it’s already passed laboratory test. The story will be different if I suffer a sever disease and I only had two or three months left to live ort maybe if the price comparison is between ten million rupiah and twenty five thousand rupiah then I’ll change my mind. There are so many factor but if the doctor just offered me without and specific motive, then I’ll take the trusted ones.
ReplyDeleteFor my second dilemma, I would like to talk about the ninth dilemma that offered in the list above. So to begin with, I don’t have a really strong bonds to people, neither to the member of my little family nor to the big family of mine, but for my grandpa and my grandma, that’s a different story. We have a really great memory especially with my grandpa, so in my case, I will definitely do my visit regularly even though it takes two days and a lot of money to visit him. The time that we’ve spent is worth every dime of the money that I spend. The problem is only how we manage our limited resources especially time, money and energy so picking the right time and do it as a regular basis will work fine. But again, it come back to each individual. Many people don’t have that kind of priority and that’s fine, because people was grew up in a different facing different problem.
DeleteThis is my second comment for this article and I would like to answer the topic that is about a doctor that give an advice for me (as a patient) that has a minor ailment. My personal opinion is that I am totally disagree to try on it. Why? Because there are two probable reason; the first one is that the medicine might not be necessary for my body to cure my illness, and second reason is that the doctor usually suggesting new medicine only for gaining profit purposes rather than cure purposes. The medicine sometimes does not even related to the illness of the patient itself, but as long as the patient would by the medicine the doctor will still get the profit anyway; it can be both from the patient and the bonus from the medicine supplier. And on the other hand, new product of medicine usually has a low demand power since it is new on the market; so it can be one of the strategy from the doctor to randomly suggesting the medicine to the patient in order to increase the demand power of the medicine to get more profit.
ReplyDelete“While your neighbour is away, you buy a pet rabbit who immediately escapes, destroys your neighbor’s flower garden by eating all the flowers and then drops dead from indigestion. You bury the rabbit in your sister’s garden in another city. Do you own up to the destruction of the flower garden when the neighbour returns home?”
ReplyDeleteMy answer is yes, because it is me who buy the rabbit, and therefore the rabbit is my responsibilities. It should be my duty to watch or take care of the rabbit and control the rabbit’s action, and whatever the mess the rabbit did would be my guilt as well, and it should be me who pays the consequences of what the rabbit made. It would be rude for us to leave it that way. And therefore, I would say sorry to my neighbour and feel obligated to replace the flower garden into new ones when the neighbour returns home.
Another dilemma that I would like to discuss is: “You are getting married and you receive an expensive present in the post from your favourite uncle. He lives abroad and always sends you unique gifts. When you open the present it’s broken. Do you tell your uncle?”
DeleteIn this case, I would tell my uncle about the condition of the present because it was not supposed to be like that. If I don’t inform my uncle about it, it would be the same as my uncle has just wasted a lot of money for nothing. My uncle has the right to complain to the post office about the broken present. There may be a solution if I tell him about the broken present, such as reimbursement. My uncle would be more disappointed if I don’t let my uncle know about it, because if I do so he might think that I don’t care about the present or not appreciate it. Therefore, I would let my uncle knows about the broken present.
Firstly, I’d like to comment about letting of my daughter to travel the world. Because honestly I see myself in the position of the daughter. I love to travel and more overly, I like to spend some quality time on my own. Travelling around the world by myself would most likely be a spiritual self-relieving journey. I would spend my time wandering like how Julia Roberts did in the movie ‘Eat, pray, love.’ But honestly I’d have to think twice for the sake of my daughter (or son)’s security. I would probably tag along with her and turn it into a ‘mother-daughter’ trip because that’s what my mom and I have been planning around for quite a while, but never happened. I guess it’s a great idea for everyone to try, since your mother is probably the closest person you’ve encountered with, before your partner. And I believe travelling can be a way to bond, and a chance to create stories like no other.
ReplyDeleteSo, next, I’d like to have a voice out about the dilemma of visiting your grandfather. This is taken by my recent personal experience. See, my grandfather lives with my grandma in Semarang which is only around 3 hours ride from Yogya. He is currently at the age of 86, and is slowly losing his memory, including my own name. The last time I visited them was around 2 months ago. But last week I had the strong urge to come visit them, and turns out my arrival was on the exact time they were going to the hospital because my grandpa just got really sick. It was such a right timing because I got to accompany my grandma the whole time through my grandpa being medically treated. My grandma expressed huge gratitude of my presence and it made my heart full. The moral of this story is to always remember your grandparents. My advice is visit them as often while you still can. I’m very glad that they’re both still alive and I got to take care of them so they don’t feel like they’re being forgotten.
DeleteI won’t make up stories about my life and background only for it to be appeared more interesting to someone I just met on a long train journey. Everyone has their own unique stories in their lives (and so do I), that’s why I think it’s unnecessary to do that. I will not even consider it as a dilemma at the first place. I believe that we all face difficulties or challenges in our lives that ultimately shape who we are. Each one of us, throughout life, goes through moments, lives through experiences, and meets certain people that, inevitably, will leave a mark on us. Even those circumstances or people that we believe would pass through unnoticed seem to reappear in some way later in our lives. This affects our experiences and our feelings, in ways that may be intense or passive, that we may be aware of or not even conscious they are happening; they give us light and darkness, and all the tones in-between. The phases are important as those moments make us who we are right now.
ReplyDeleteYour 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. Do you allow her to do so? What about if it was your son?
ReplyDeleteYes, I would. Because I think we tend to be so wrapped up with all the hectic things happening in our life especially when it comes to academicals problem that we’re forgetting the main thing that is: living our life to the fullest. If I were a mom, I would let my children to make their own decisions for I believe I’ve taught them enough and that they are mature enough to decide. And I know for a fact that by exploring around the world, not only will they discover more about this beautiful Mother Nature, but it’ll also teach them how to survive on their own. However, it is nearly impossible here in Indonesia to do such things for the majority of people will immediately apply to universities after they graduate high school.
First of all, I’d ask her the plans she has in mind for proposing such thoughts. Honestly, I won’t mind if she wants to explore something she’s interested in as long as the plans are clear and vivid. I think it’s become a tradition in Indonesia when you are just graduated from high school, you immediately sign up for university and go to college. Now that I think about it, having a gap year for exploring the world and finding yourself out is not a bad idea. But for people who are not used to this, taking a gap year can be a daunting process, whether they’re a student taking an adventurous time-out after years of education, or a parent supporting their child as they embark on their first taste of independent traveling, learning or working. If my daughter were to plan a gap year, she should consider how various activities will help her develop personally and intellectually, contribute to a good cause, gain a deeper understanding of the world, and develop enterprise, maturity, commitment and independence outside of formal education.
ReplyDeleteIn this articles about dilemmas problem, two questions that I would like to explain is about having a baby in 40 years old and a 17 years old girl who wants to go traveling around the world on her own. In the first dilemma about a 40 years old couple who want to have a baby, my answer is not to have a baby by copulation way, but we will adopt a baby. I will give three reasons why I choose this option for this dilemma. First, the women will be very susceptible to the diseases, for instance, preeclampsia, diabetes, placenta previa, and misbirth. Seeing those disease that my wife would get after she is pregnant, and actually those diseases will greatly torture her future life after 40, actually, it’s not just her, me as her husband also sad by feeling her suffering, I would decline the option to make her pregnant.
ReplyDeleteMy second argument is to prevent the risk for the baby that they would take an abnormality which are down syndrome abnormalities. Some research said that one of two hundred baby who is born from 40 years old woman is highly risky to get that abnormality. It is because the 40 years old woman chromosomes don’t have a good quality as the 20-30 years old woman chromosomes. Actually, this situation can happen not just in 40 years old woman, it can happen for every pregnant woman. But, as the risk is bigger for those women who are in 40 years old of pregnancy, as a husband I would not take that risk. Thirdly, there is a high possibility to bear in an abnormal way. There will be a big risk which can make the parturition failed when it does in a normal way, some factors like the energy of the woman, the complication that she would get, so some expert suggests to do in caesarian section.
DeleteIn summary, I would like to avoid the pregnancy for my wife when her old is 40 years old because there will be a lot of risk that they take. I prefer to adopt s baby rather than sacrifice two life which be my precious thing in my life. The second dilemma is about the traveler 17 years old girl. If it is my girl I would allowed her to go travelling around the world, BUT not going on her self, she must go together with her friends, at least there is a man that we know really well about him. Nowadays, society is such a dangerous thing when we like to allow our children whatever they want. I can convince that the safety nowadays is really different with the safety in the future. I can get worse or better, we cannot predict. But seeing from nowadays anxiety, that there are a lot of scams, frauds, etc, I’m afraid that in the next year the safety will be better.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, 17 years old is something that will be a new thing for her. So, does not rule out the possibility that they will try to enter the nightclub or some bar. Even though it is a girl, some likelihood maybe happen. Honestly, I know this situation, because I had been had in their position. When I was 17 years old, that was my first time that I try to smoke, drink alcoholic beverages. Fortunately, I was not addicted at that time, because my school rule was so tight and also I have a good condition in society, so it’s such an honor to say a big appreciation to them which taught to be a great person with 4C (Competence, Conscience, Compassion, Commitment). So, that’s why I need a man that I know him really well to take care, my girl, when they are in those places. Actually, I'm building upon that they will go in that place, but if it happens? I need to think about the solution. So in summary, I still dauntless in my first choice which is not too allow her to go traveling on her own.
DeleteWell I love getting present, who doesn’t right? moreover the presents which I get from my family. In this case, if I received a present from my uncle who lives far away and the present itself broke along the way probably I would not tell him about the condition of the present because it may break his heart. He had already buy the present especially for me and certainly he wanted me to be happy so if he heard that his present was broken than it was not a good situation. Maybe later on when he come visit me and asked about the present then I would probably tell him about it but I will not say anything if he is not asking me anything yet. My aunty used to send me presents every month because she is a travelholic and go on a holiday abroad very often, she used to buy me clothes, shoes, etc but not all of them are suit to me so I would just say thanks and not saying anything abput it.
ReplyDeleteFor the first dilemma I chose the second one. Personally for the second dilemma I would not get a child at the age of 40. I heard that it is considered dangerous for health, and other than that by the time the parents reach retirement age the child is still in college. The conclusion is the decision of having children at the age of forty would be both dangerous for health and also the economy. And for second dilemma that I chose the tenth one. For the tenth dilemma I choose to not tell my uncle but once I got asked what happened to the present i would definitely answer it honestly. From my point of view, the purpose of giving a gift is actually the giving gesture itself instead of the object given. Yes, it is obvious that it is unfortunate that the present broke. Personally, that is the way I go about it.
ReplyDelete"Your 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. "
ReplyDeleteI would not allow her to go on her OWN, however if she has a group of people that she can rely on then I wpuld allow her, it is a dangerous world out there I would not like it if my daughter is in danger especially if she is still 17 years old, she's still got to walk down that road and live life to the fullest. If it was my son, I would have to have a conversation with my wife, usually boys are more bold and brave however I do not want to risk losing my son at that age.
"You and your husband/wife are both over 40 years old. You both want children."
This is a tough one because, the urge to have babies are very hard to contain. If I am in my 40s and want children I would obviously need my wife's consent, she is the one who's going to give birth and if she is capable of doing that then we might have babies. Medical issues is inevitable because 40 is not the preferred age to have a baby but if God wills it then we can have children.
I’ll give my answer to the third dilemma about trying a new drug. I think it depends on the level of the drug. If the drug has a hard effect or high dosage to the illnesses I won’t try it has just come onto the market and I think it would be too risky. Even though it has passed laboratory tests, no one has really given a testimony regarding the effect of the drug. So, I don’t really know what would happen if I drink the drug or will it affect well for my sickness. Also, since not all people are okay to drink all of the drug, there are also some people who have allergy to drugs so what if I try it and I get allergy to drugs and the effect will be very dangerous to my body. But maybe if the drugs are mild and the dosage isn’t so high I will consider trying the new drugs but it has to have zero side effect as well.
ReplyDeleteThe second dilemma that I will answer is the fifth dilemma. If I am at the party and I meet someone who is super cute but makes extremely boring conversation I would definitely say no and also, I would stop going out with that person. The truth is, if I’m dating someone, I do not really care about his physical appearance and also, that is not my main consideration to be with him. Because, what is the point of being with someone who has terrific film-star looks but I can’t have a really good conversation with him? I won’t be happy anyway. I don’t want to end up being with one person who is not fun at all to talk with. Besides, if I only go out with him because of his looks moreover he is not so fun to talk to, I will get bored and feel sick of him easily. I would rather go out with someone who is just so-so in looks but can make me extremely happy with his thoughts, conversations, and attitudes. I also believe that if we fall in love to someone’s appearance, it would end in short term but if we fall in love to someone’s personality, it would last forever.
ReplyDeleteYour 17 year old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own.
ReplyDeleteOn her own no way, there is no good reason to ever let anyone under the age of 21 go around the world by themselves. They may not be physically and mentally mature yet and can cause self harm. For example what happens when my 17 year old daughter goes to the Philippines and gets kidnapped by pirates because she was alone and an easy target for kidnapping. Or what if she goes to Canada where marijuana is legal and gets peer pressured into smoking marijuana? If she was to go with at least 2 of her friends I would reconsider depending on the locations she wants to go to and other aspects. It would be no different if it was my son, no child under the age of 21 should be left alone far away from home. College is different where you might have some relatives or some of your old friends to accompany you in college. But as we can see, we college students usually end up doing bad things we never wanted to do in the first place but was peer pressured into it.
The first dilemma, I want to talk about is when my 17 years old daughter wants to have a year off before going to university and hitch-hike around the world on her own. I do not think I will give her my permission, as she is still seventeen and she is a girl. But if in the future my family used to go travelling around the world and if she masters some martial arts that can protect her, maybe I will give my permission. But it will be better if I already know the situation where she will go. It will be the same if my seventeen years old son asks my permission to go around the world. I think it will be better if she went with her friends, not by her own, at least when something bad happen they can help each other. But as a 17 years old girl, sometime I will upset if my mom doesn’t give her permission when I ask something, so I will try to find a way to explain the reason why she can’t go by her own that does not make her upset.
ReplyDeleteFor the second dilemma I want to talk about is when you seek a doctor’s advice on a minor ailment, he asks you if you would be willing try a new drug which has passed laboratory tests but has only just come onto the market. Personally I will decline his offer; I think everybody will not accept the offer that the doctor gives. It just a minor ailment, I think we can find other drug that already been tested and already stay on the market for some time, that means a lot of people already used it and they do not feel any bad side effect of the drug. My decision will change if it is a serious illness, especially if there is no cure for the illness yet. I think I will try the drug and see if it is work. Even though the drug does not working, at least I already try the drug.
Delete