A wedding proposal is the most intimate of occasions - so why are a growing number of people proposing in public?
You can see compilations of proposals at baseball and basketball stadiums in the US. Some unkind souls have even gathered together the most notable refusals. And the flashmob wedding proposal - a craze which may have begun in the US in 2009 - is increasingly popular in the UK.
In November 2011, a marriage proposal which featured a hired choir on a packed London train was viewed by millions after taking off on YouTube.
Public proposals come in other forms too. One man opted for the confined space of an aeroplane and took control of the tannoy system to propose to his girlfriend. The other passengers were also happy when the woman said yes - they got free champagne.
The Blossom Street Choir has taken part in a number of very public proposals. Director Hilary Campbell says it costs between £400 and £2000 to hire a choir and that there has been a marked increase in the number of people proposing this way.
The choir played a part in Jimmy Hill's proposal to his girlfriend at Piccadilly Circus, in the heart of London in front of a crowd to the strains of (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher. The 60 people also included friends and amateur singers who had responded to a Facebook call for volunteers.
Hill, 22, got down on bended knee under the watchful gaze of the statue of Anteros - the Greek god of requited love, commonly mistake for Eros. Josie Stanford, his girlfriend of six years, said "yes" without hesitation. "I knew it was going to be big because I know what he's like. But I didn't know it was going to be that big," Stanford says.
While that particular recipient was delighted, albeit self-conscious, such a proposal is not for everyone. "You would either be thrilled or mortified by something like that, depending on just how gregarious you are as a person," says celebrity wedding planner Siobhan Craven-Robins. "But ultimately it's very romantic - well, it shows great organisation anyway."
The public proposal is part of a growing trend away from tradition, suggests Craven-Robins. It spread to the UK when rules on where you could get married were relaxed, allowing couples to tie the knot in places such as castles, hotels and stately homes.
The increased level of expectation that surrounds weddings these days has led to people feeling that their proposal also has to be out of the ordinary, she says.
Glenn Wilson, a consultant psychologist, thinks public wedding proposals may sometimes be a ploy on the part of men. "It's possible that some men think that this will pile pressure upon her and increase the likelihood of getting a positive response, that she must think that he really loves her if he goes to this extent of trouble and trickery."
The recipient of the proposal, put on the spot before an expectant crowd, may feel rather constrained in how they can respond. "There is tremendous social and public pressure behind the woman to say 'yes'," says Wilson. "If she says 'no' so publicly it's difficult to revise that response later.
"There's a danger that the guy will get the right response for the wrong reason. It does put her on the spot."
The craze for elaborate proposals does not just mean public. Even choosing the top of mountains or towers, or far-flung beaches, still represents a break from tradition.
Debrett's etiquette adviser, Jo Bryant, says public gestures should be fitting to the situation and the recipient should be comfortable with public attention.
"A public proposal that could be particularly loud, intrusive or embarrassing for people to watch should be avoided."
And not everyone is impressed with the long history in the US of men proposing during the interval of sporting events.
Rick Morrissey, a sports writer with the Chicago Sun-Times, had described such proposals as "one of the scourges of modern society". He continued: "Any time these clips are shown on TV, a news reader coos, 'Awwwwwwwwwwww'. I reach for the cyanide capsules."
Despite the pressure of the situation not all public proposal recipients go along with the plan. At this NBA basketball match the woman said "no" and was booed by the crowd, while the distraught man was consoled by a giant cuddly mascot.
The result is YouTube fodder, as much as the successful proposals make popular videos. Wilson says people feel compelled to watch these videos for the same reason they watch reality TV. "They are just entertaining, to see real things happening to people."
Georgia Tolley, editor of the Before the Big Day wedding blog, got engaged six months ago and describes her fiance's proposal as being "a very lovely, very private moment".
While "very beautiful", a proposal like Hill's would not have been for her. "I would have died of embarrassment. I'm very English, I would have been mortified."
Tolley says she does not see the trend taking off in the same way it has in the US.
"In America people are a lot more showy-offy and outgoing and that's a fantastic side of the American culture. Here in the UK I just can't see people really engaging with it. I've seen some of the films and the girls just look like they want to fall into the ground.
"You're going to have your wedding, there's going to be loads of opportunities for you to rub your love in other people's faces and go 'look, we're fantastic, we're perfect, we're an amazing couple'. You don't need the bells and whistles. It's a pretty cool moment as it is."
Taken from the BBC HERE.
Public Marriage Proposals Gone Wrong: The 11 Biggest Fails (VIDEO) Feb 14, 2012
Planning to pop the question this Valentine’s Day? The romance of the holiday is no guarantee everything will go as planned. See the top 11 worst proposals, from fast food gone wrong to a JumboTron shutdown, and remember, if you’re considering proposing, keep it private—and stay away from that guy with the video camera. Daily Beast HERE.
I have seen lots of people proposing in public whether it is from videos on youtube or even from social media. In my opinion though proposing in public is actually more to be a western culture rather than a traditional Indonesian culture making it a rare moment to be seeing a marriage proposal in Indonesia.
ReplyDeleteWhat i think about public marriage proposal is that it is a positive thing to do and it is not something taboo that you must not do. Public marriage proposal means that it is way to make the proposal to be remembered and the man wanted the proposal to be special. Eventhough, there are some couples who like it to be more private. The proposal that are private can be in a special place or even just while having dinner.It can be more special sometimes to have a proposal in private rather than to be in public, because sometimes love is not something to be shown to others it is just a thing for the couples.
Public proposal have been a huge trend lately on the internet especially on the social network like YouTube, Facebook or even Instagram, where people try to do the most unique, the most extravagant and the biggest proposal possible, most of the time to generate buzz online and follow the trend of the social media where everyone try to show off as much as possible, many try to become online celebrity or have their 15 minutes of fame, this is romantic in a way but also can be perceived as very commercial, and can be a source of new revenue for wedding company and a new market for the wedding proposal.
ReplyDeleteThis also may originate from American movies which transmitted the idea of a men proposing to his girlfriend in a public place, especially in musical, and people try to recreate those movie scenes in real life, I also saw a similar trend of women proposing to their boyfriend for more equality and I believe it is a good trend that men and women should be able to do the same thing without gender stereotype.
I’ve seen a lot of videos about public proposal whether on youtube or on TV. Some of them might have gone wrong (ended up with refusal) but there are also a lot of successful public proposals which is kind of cute and ended up pretty well. I personally think that public proposal gives a bit cringe for me since they drew a lot of attention, and sometimes participation from the public. I don’t really get it why people make a public proposal. There’s always possibilities of refusal and it’s going to be terribly embarrassing and sad if the refusal happened in front of a lot of people, Is it worth the risk ? hmm, I think nah. Well, maybe they seek for attention or some adrenaline rush in purpose (?). I also do not get it why some people want a public proposal. A public proposal is indeed memorable, but I personally think that private moment best enjoyed privately.
ReplyDeleteA long time ago, any contract, sworn propositions and great oaths had to be made in public for having any legal values. Witnesses were essentials. (I don't remember quite well, but I think it was the general Germanic procedure).It last toward today for a few things. Plus, it's a safe and honourable thing. If the woman has any children before the proper marriage, or if the man died, she could turn toward his family to have help and to have a legitimate hair. Marriage wasn't done by Church before something like the 11th century., but by mutual oath, in front of witnesses and when you propose someone in public, it feels more special because it takes bravery and mentality to do it thus it’s a public place. Your partner also feels pressure to accept your proposal and thereby chance that your partner will take your proposal. For me propose in public is a good strategy.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason why people started conducting their proposals in public is because it is such an intimate and happy moment, the couple wishes to share their love and happiness with others. But with the increase of social media likes and Youtube views had turned this trend into a competition. What had started with innocent and sweet intentions became into a display of who could show off their wealth and extravagantness the best way possible. And that’s sad, because it completely ruins the heartwarming act of offering your partner of marrying out of love.
ReplyDeleteAs the article also mentions, the watchful eyes of the public and social media can create pressure upon the receiver of the proposal. In some cases, some people will conduct public proposals to use that pressure to trap their partners into saying yes and marrying them, when they are not ready. Once again, the act of proposing in public has degraded the true meaning of what a proposal truly is. The proposer must know if their partner is ready for marriage and their ideal proposal is instead of rushing and planning an expensive proposal.
In my opinion, people that makes their proposal wants their proposal to be special and extraordninary, because it is such a big moment in their life. It is a celebration of love, life, and for the future so that some people want to make it big and memorable. From what I read from the article, it is also make sense that man do that because women will feel burdened if they says no to the proposal. For myself, I am not the type of person that like a big parties and waste a lot of money for parties and events. So if I got to be proposed someday, I want it to be simple, private, but memorable and special. Everybody has their own taste and need, and it is everybody’s choice to choose what they want and like. However, I am also interested in seeing the big proposals that I watched online, because it also shows how much the man love his woman and want the best for her.
ReplyDeleteTalking about proposal here’s my dream proposal. I think I would just like it to be intimate and personal. Maybe in a great scenic location having him give me a letter of why he’s in love with me and telling all the reason why he wants to make me his wife. I love love letters, I think they are so underutilized now a days because it’s much easier just to send a quick text. And then of course I’d love for him to get down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I’ve always thought it would be nice to have my family there and involved, but I think it would be much more romantic, personal and intimate if it was just the two of us. But as long as he asked my fathers permission, gets down on one knee, and looks at me how my dad looks at my mom then I would have my dream proposal
ReplyDeletePublic proposals could end up being very memorable, or very embarrassing. Although I understand that public proposal would give an image of how much the man love his girlfriend, but imagine being rejected by your own girlfriend in front of a sea of people looking at you two, it would definitely be very humiliating. I think in order for men to do public proposals they need to be one hundred percent sure that the girlfriend wants to marry him because public proposals could be very pressuring and intimidating to the girlfriend. There is an assumption and expectation of the girl to say yes, and hence why I said the man need to be very sure that the girl wants to marry him. On the other hand, I think proposals that are done in private would be more intimate and the girl would not have as much pressure to say yes as being proposed in public would be. I personally would rather be proposed in private and in the simplest way possible.
ReplyDeleteProposing someone in front of public spectators is something of a trend that came from outside of Indonesia, that is from the west. But due to these public proposals that we often see in the social media, it sorts of became a normal or a common thing that would happen in our daily life. This is due to the fact that most of these proposals also uses some kind of flash mob for when the man confess his pledge to the woman they love. And right now, there are tons of proposals that uses this kind of flash mob and some people in Indonesia have already used this media to confess their feeling. But my only problem is that since this act is utilized in front of the public spectators, it’s kind of pressured both of them, the man and the woman. And since there are only two outcomes from this proposal, either the woman accept the man’s proposal or she reject it, the result it gave are definitely going to be clear. If the woman accepts the proposal, the whole spectator would cheer on them. But if the woman refuses the proposal, some of the spectator would feel sad and some of them would boo on them. If the latter does happen, it’s not going to be a beautiful memory for both sides.
ReplyDeleteProposing someone you love in public is becoming a trend in Indonesia. This proposing situation tends to success because if the women reject the propose, the man will get shy in front of public, or the man wanted to show how romantic is he. But, not all women like to be proposed like this because in this kind of situation it will make the women feeling shy and not comfortable when everyone eyes in that area is looking at both her and his boyfriend. Another fact is that in this situation, the audience which is people around them, will for surely say ‘accept’ and tend to ‘force’ the women to accept the man’s love. Some public area like Starbucks, which is becoming viral in YouTube and some other public facilities which is becoming the best place for the women. This western trend now is being follow by most Indonesian, because people in Indonesia tend to have a mindset which is ‘foreigners’ culture and trend is always better than the local trend’.
ReplyDeleteTheoretically, proposing your lover in the public is increasing the odds of you getting accepted by her (or him), which is good. Its also considered as romantic by some people since some woman are like treated like this in front of everyone and the man are always trying to make her feel special in front of the crowd; that is why ladies, most of the man giving you a bouquet of flower or a gift in front of your friends because he want you to make you feel special to your partner in front of everyone. Its not a problem I think to propose your lover in public as long as it isn’t disturb other people around you because that can be considered as rude. But for me personally, I prefer to do it in a quite place with a beautiful scenery where we (me and my partner) are having our moment together. It’s a big leap so we really need to think it very carefully. Good luck with you all I the future guys, I hope that you guys can have your perfect ideal propose.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I have never witnessed any public proposal, I only ever saw a prom proposal which is a big different because it is not prominent. In my opinion, I don’t think that public proposal is the best way to asking someone to spend the rest of his or her life with us. A marriage is a once in a life time commitment and I do believe that it can only be done when you find the one. The moment when you propose someone is a special occasion in which you need to pick the exact time and place. For me, it is best to spend the moment to ourselves or with the addition of the family. However, each person has different preference, some may love to be the center of attention and some may consider a public proposal to be a burden and source of embarrassment. In conclusion, a wedding proposal is crucial as it is the start of a long journey and at the end, it is up to us on how to propose our significant others as long as we are sure that he or she is the one who we looking for.
ReplyDeleteA proposal is the first step in a lifetime love journey. It shows that you are committed and ready to take the next step. Doing a proposal in public is a way that is now getting more common in the western countries. I have seen it several times in serial shows and youtube. This may happen because the man would want to express their love in public. And when the woman accepts it, it would be a cheerful and memorable moment for both sides. What’s not great, is when the proposal is rejected. It would bring a traumatic and sad feeling to the man. But some people prefer a personal method of proposal. Maybe in a form of dinner, or a tradition with family members. People like this may not like it if their relationship is exposed in public. Both method of proposing is the same. It will be a memorable and special moment in your relationship.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would never consider the option to propose in public, but I don’t think that proposing in public is worse. Because to me proposing to our significant others is a moment for two people to deeply connect their feelings toward each other. I believed that these deep connections cannot be fully conveyed with the presence of other people around. The presence of other people watching might somehow force one of either the one who propose or the one being proposed to act a certain way that might not be natural. Not to mention that there’s the chance of being rejected which obviously would be far better without others seeing those embarrassing moments. Yet, even if I prefer proposing in person I can’t help but admire people who have the confidence to propose in public. As I see proposing in public as something that only for people who have a high confidence in themselves able to do.
ReplyDeleteThe act of proposing in public isn’t part of Indonesian culture, but rather a culture that came from the west. The act itself is gaining popularity due to the sheer amount of video uploaded to the internet. Me personally, am not a fan of such activity. I believe that a proposal should be modest, and personal in nature. But, I kind of understand the motive of why some people do it. Most people, probably the guys, think that all the stares and attention that they are getting may help in convincing the woman to say yes. But that doesn’t guarantee the overall success of the act itself, and the shame you’ll feel when the woman actually rejects your proposal will probably be double than normal. That’s why, it will probably be better if proposal be done in private rather than public, because these kinds of events should be enacted and finished personally by those involved and outside influence should be minimized.
ReplyDeleteProposal is an event where one person in a relationship asks for the other's hand in marriage which then leads to an engagement. Some proposal are documented and sometimes, are published on Youtube. Proposal documentary videos are really beautiful and heart-warming to watch. There is public and private proposals. With public proposals, I do think that some people are either going to love or hate it with a passion. I have seen multiple public proposals videos on Youtube and I don’t know why I have always enjoyed watching them. Sometimes, even a few proposal videos out there would actually make me tear up. There are a lot of public proposals compilation videos on Youtube. Some are filled with happy ones and some are filled with rejection. I have seen a video of a woman hitting the man that proposed to her by singing in public with a guitar because she felt embarrassed. That’s the thing with public proposals, either it’s going to work or it won’t.
ReplyDeleteOnce you've decided to you're ready to propose your partner, it's unavoidable that you'll be excited and anxious. After all, it's a moment that you both will remember (and repeat the story of) for the rest of your lives. Bottom line: It doesn't have to be the most perfect. That said, don't let your nerves lead you to make one of these all too common marriage proposal mistakes. Though you may be so passionate about your hoped for bride that you want to shout your proposal for the entire world to hear, it's much more likely that she'd prefer you keep the engagement a just the two of you occasion. According to their 19,000 subject survey, “Most women deemed proposing in public and proposing in front of friends or family as the biggest blunders an aspiring fiancé could make.” So why, why in the world, do men keep doing this?
ReplyDeleteBeing proposed by a man, can be the most happiest moment in a woman's life. It is also the happiest moment for the man in his entire life. Just imagine, you are one step away from starting a new life together with a person you've loved, you can create a gappy family, and also maybe go to vacation with your family. It is just undeniable that it is a happy moment. But, for some people, they choose to propose their lovely person in public. Maybe in a beach, or some people usually propose their lovely person in a theater after the show finished. I had wacthed it once in Singapore. A man proposed theur girlfriend in a theater after the show was over. Tgere are even some people, i saw this on youtube, they proposed their girlfriend when they watched NBA. So it was like, in the halftime break, the official usually give the audience some games, and if you can do it, you will get a present. So it was just like, the man proposed his girlfriend jn the middle of the game. It was watched by the whole stadium. Well, of course the man need a great courage to do that. Maybe people think that proposing in the public places ks more romantic. Well i also think the same. It is more romantic. But, in some cases, the women sometimes just to shy to he proproposed on public, and then the proposal end up with the women angry or something. So, i think people need to think about it really carefully ablut the negative possibilities also.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, public marriage proposal is one option that couples could choose. This is becoming a trend and has reached many pupils’ attention online. In some ways, public marriage proposal is a very brave thing to do as the suitor approach their significant other in public. Therefore, it will also be public whether the other accepts the proposal or denies it. Contrary to the article, I think private marriage proposal is more suitable. Moreover, I think the proposal moment will be more special if the suitor does it privately. I would love to be proposed privately so it will feel like the world only belong to you and your significant other. Different from the proposal, I think the wedding reception should be public as you and your significant other tells the world that you are officially together until death. In the wedding reception, you invite other people to be happy of your marriage as well.
ReplyDeleteBig and extremely public proposals are sort of a trend right now. However, I think it comes back to the partner. Those kinds of proposals are not for everyone. I think you need to really get to know your partner before proposing. Some people just don’t like being very public about these things, some people would really prefer simple proposals with privacy over grand, but very public ones. If I was the one being proposed very publicly with lots of grand shows, I would most likely be mortified and just run away. I would certainly try my best to get away from all the unwanted and unnecessary attention. Not to mention, I think public proposals would include external factors to the response. The pressure of the public is something to consider. I think sincerity is the only thing that matters. For me, all the grandeurs are unnecessary. If the girl wants to say yes, then she would say yes without the guy having to go through lots of trouble to make a show out of it.
ReplyDeleteThere are only two kinds of results when a man proposes to a woman, either being rejected or being accepted as her life partner. With that in mind, there is this thing called public proposal, it is when a man proposed to a woman in public places with or without the help of other people. I personally think that public proposal is a good thing to do if done properly. A man usually considers doing a public proposal so that he could make the most memorable experience a woman could get. Keep in mind that this will be remembered for the rest of her life so make sure to not mess it up. If the public proposal was done badly then it will be the most embarrassing moment in her life. What I’m trying to say is that doing a public proposal can be a good thing to do but maybe sometimes it is just not worth the risk.
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely no idea why someone would propose in public. Perhaps it is a way of letting others know about two people getting together, thus avoiding misinformation when reacquainted with old friends. My personal theory is that the proposing party would like to prove to their future partners that they have the courage needed to face the greatest fear of any right minded human being, potential public humiliation; and thus with great courage, comes other positive qualities one looks for in future mates. The other theories in this blog is that cultures from other parts of the world has turned it into some sort of competition. However, it’s mostly up to the individual; most couples might find it appealing to propose in public, while one might find more romance and intimacy in more private venues. Partners look for quality traits in their significant others that would prove beneficial in the long-run, one such way of showing these traits is to have a big and flamboyant proposal. Though there is some people who propose privately; they seem to find their partner’s trustworthiness and preference of a secure and secluded setting. They find the familiar and intimate atmosphere more romantic, and see their partner’s protective traits. In conclusion, how people propose largely depends on the individual and their preferences; whether it is a large public venue or a more secluded setting, people would go to great lengths to secure their potential future mate.
ReplyDeleteYES! this is actually something that had been on my mind for a long time, I don't know if it's because of my small lizard brain or something but I simply cannot fathom how people can build up the courage to propose in public. It's been bothering me so much that I started to rally think about it and I actually came up with a very bizarre but plausible theory on to why people propose in public. My theory on why people propose in public is that it would be more difficult and super uncomfortable for the recipient of the proposal to reject as opposed to a more private proposal, normally when people propose in public they gather a crowd that starts cheering for the proposer and basically peer pressuring the recipient to accept and thus proposing in public actually requires less confidence since you basically have a cheer squad supporting you, it sounds ridiculous I know and it is one of the more ludicrous theories I have ever come up with.
ReplyDeleteI strongly believe that every proposal is great when you are with the right person, and every single person has their own way to express their feelings, even though sometimes people are afraid that their partner would turn down their proposal. If the partner loves public display of affection, then public proposal comes as an obvious choice. Because people make public proposals to impress their partner because they already know they would love it. To be honest, me, personally, would really love a public proposal. I think most girls would love it too. But on the other hand, I’m pretty sure it would be embarrassing and humiliating if the answer is no. Despite the pressure of the situation, not all public proposal recipients go along with the plan. So if you are not sure what the answer is going to be, I think you should not ask the question in public.
ReplyDeleteIt takes big guts to propose in public. With the crowds around you, it is certainly not easy when embarrassment is what comes up to your mind. Though watching people getting proposed in public is really fun to watch as I have watched some videos on Youtube on men proposing to women in public, it is also hilarious and emotional to watch at the same time. In my opinion, public proposals are becoming a trend nowadays. Our lifestyle is now full of advanced technology including the internet. We used to think that the internet was very advanced when it first released, but is now something we use everyday. The internet is what helped the trend of public proposals to boom out, videos are found in social medias where people post their personal experiences of public proposals to show their colleagues and families or even just to get views.
ReplyDeleteThe risks of having public actions by actors will have long-lasting remembrance of the momentum, hence depends on outcomes; accepted or rejected. The initiation of engagement often has ritual quality. The proposal itself frequently conducted in genuflecting gestures. Whatever manner the proposer did, the outcome of the question will conjure events in a long time, even if the couple is divorced or the proposed rejects the proposal, as proposals often took time; consideration of the parties for long-term effects, the actors, capability of each other’s commitments, resources, and so on.
ReplyDeleteHumiliation and embarrassment are the most reasonable feelings of a rejected proposal, moreover if it involves many people. Therefore, I prefer to discuss such matters comprehensively with my chosen partner to be proposed, my parents and hers’, so I can evade unpleasant outcomes of the proposal, as I consider this as something serious, precious, and have long-lasting effects to our lives, families, and friends.
In my humble opinion, I do not like public proposals. A few days ago I was listening to a mexican comedian talking about showing off proposals. She was saying that nowadays the woman do not have the freedom to say “no” after a huge show from the guy trying to propose. Which is true, after the big theatre your social life would be over as a woman if you deny the proposal. One classmate I had in High School got engage last year in Venice and the guy hired a professional video maker. The video got viral in Youtube in El Salvador. I was happy for her because she look happy but the video was too awkward. For me, a proposal has to be a personal moment between the couple and later it should be celebrated with the close family. An advice to my future husband: DO NOT PROPOSE IN PUBLIC!
ReplyDeleteLately, there are many videos about wedding proposal in public that were posted on social media such as instagram, twitter, youtube, etc. I believe that people have their own way to express their feeling towards someone. To propose someone, whether it is a private proposal or a public proposal, I think that it depends on people's preferance. Some may like to make it as a very private moment, while some others like to do it in front of many people. But lately, proposing someone in public has become a trend, and people like to find the most unique yet romantic way to propose. For example, I watched a video when a man proposed his woman in a mall, giving her a car wrapped in a huge beautiful box, with thousand of balloons. Another video when a man proposed his woman while doing basketball competition and so on. Wedding proposal in public can be seen as a good thing, because it means that people's happiness can be shared and witnessed by others. And I think, proposal like that is very hard to prepare, and need a great struggle.
ReplyDeleteProposing in public is indeed a trend that’s been happening for a very long time. This way of proposal can either be a good idea or the opposite. Some men tend to do this kind of way because they want this very moment to be very special and romantic, and they want the woman to felt the same way. In my opinion, as long as you have a good courage, this way of proposing is truly not a bad idea. Proposing in public will surely increase the chance of your partner to say ‘yes’ because it shows how dedicated you are to your partner. However, i dont know if its true, but i’m sure that this way of proposing wont work for every single woman out there. Sometimes there are woman who wanted this special moment to be intimate and private, and i don’t think every woman would feel comfortable when there are publics eyes looking at them and somehow forces them to say ‘yes’.
ReplyDeleteI believe that proposing someone in public is something that have become a trend in Indonesia nowadays. Although, proposing someone in public had been a trend many years ago in the United States. At first, it seemed to be an odd thing to see someone proposing the love of their life in public in front of a bunch of people they don’t know. But the more I see public proposals on social media, it made it more normal and became a common thing for me to see. Because of social media, I would not be shock or surprised to see someone propose publicly. I also believe that most of the public proposal use some kind of flash mob before the person confesses his/her love to the special person. From what I have seen, there are many public proposal in Indonesia that use flash mob to confess their love. I think that public proposals are sweet and romantic but I don’t think it is necessary. When the action take place in such a public space, I think that the one who is being proposed to might not be comfortable with the amount of people watching and it might influence his/her decision whether to say yes or no. I believe that public proposals are not for everyone. My advice is that you have to know whether that special someone would be comfortable being the center of attention or not and you also have to know that that special someone would say yes. It would be embarrassing if that special someone says no and it would not be a wonderful experience for both of you.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think people should do proposals in public because not only is it sacral but proposals should be witnessed by those who are close to you and your significant other. Due to the advancement in technology nowadays, it makes literally everything so much easier to share everything worldwide. A slew of YouTube videos are testament to a wave of ever more elaborate and often very public proposals. You can see compilations of proposals at public areas such as stadium, street, beach, etc. There are lots of argument from the pros as they think it is a proclamation of love and you’re declaring that your spouse is yours. However, in my opinion, proposal is ought to do in private. Why? You may ask. Because as I’ve stated before, it is a sacral thing that should be witnessed by those who are close to you. And you have to really know your spouse’s preference when it comes to things like this.
ReplyDeleteWill they appreciate you being open to everyone as your special moment is not only yours but also everybody else’s? You would either be thrilled or mortified by something like that, depending on just how gregarious you are as a person. But to me personally, not only is it uncomfortable, proposing in public also puts the pressure to the one who’s at the receiving for some bystanders might encourage this person to accept the proposal. And in a way, the cheers might turn into something that could lead to anxiety because it makes it as if this person has no choice, because they put this person on the spot that if this person says ‘no’ so publicly it’ll be difficult for this person to revise that response later on; so might as well just say yes. However, on the other hand, some particular recipient might feel delighted by such proposal.
DeleteIn my opinion, its all about how people expressing their feelings. Well, I don’t know exactly why would some people prefer propose in public, but I would assume that proposing in public is a brave action, it takes courage to show up with all the attention on you, I guess its not easy. Especially to refused the proposal. I believe public marriage proposal is one of the way to show that they are being serious or committed they are in the relationship and it is also important to do in order to know how far they willing to “have” she/he in eternity. But me personally, I would not like to be proposed in public, I think it is not proper to express your love in front of many people. I prefer proposed in private, quite and intimate situation. I have read an article and it says that people who proposing in public not really understand the difference between romance and pressure. I guess this might be true, in fact no one can guarantee they would say “yes” to the proposal.
ReplyDeleteNever in my whole life have I ever seen anyone in real life, propose in public. Although it would be nice and fun to see one in real life, I have seen several videos of viral public proposals on YouTube, Instagram and other social medias as well as the news. First off, some of these videos/public proposals could be deemed as boasting. My thought process behind this is because some, though, most of these viral public proposals can be seen with fancy things or in a fancy setting. In other words, money money money. Secondly, these videos showcase several creative proposal ideas such as: cinema proposals, proposals where it starts off as a prank (for humour), and even to heart touching ones. Last but most importantly, it’s the memory and how much someone means to you that makes it a good reason to do a public proposal. Some people find it necessary to tell the world how much they love their significant other, hence why they feel the need to propose in front of an audience. Some people also take it to the next limit, showing their efforts to prove their significant other how much they’re willing to give to get them.
ReplyDeleteMy next comment is dedicated to you poor blokes (man) out there. And by poor I don’t necessarily mean financially broke. With public proposals happening all around us, videos up all over the internet, it shames down us man and makes the game even harder for us to get the ladies. It gets harder and harder because we’re starting to run out of ideas on these public proposals. Not to mention the fact that even if you came up with one, it has probably been done and is out there on the internet. It pressures us to think that if our idea is too tacky, we need to compensate it with money. By this, I mean we should compensate and cover up our plain, simple proposal by doing something fancy for instance, having the proposal in New York after a limousine ride with your lady. In fact, now that I think of it, every unique “great idea” involves money. One of the best proposals I’ve seen online was done in the cinema where they replaced the pre-movie commercials with a video of a couple which then the guy comes on stage and proposes. So, it is quite dumb to spend so much money and effort on huge public proposals with a risk of being rejected and embarrassed. However, the only benefit is that it also pushes the ladies to shout that “yes”.
ReplyDeleteActually, I rarely see someone proposing the love of their life in public. I think the trend of proposing someone in public comes from western culture. I see a lot of public proposal videos in internet and the videos are rarely come from Indonesia. Proposing in public takes a lot of courage since you could end up embarrass yourself in front of everyone and your beloved one if you get rejected. I believe that everyone wants to make their proposal to be memorable in their life and sometimes public proposal could be the best idea to create a memorable memories. I think the other reason why people propose in public is because they also want to show how big is their love to their loved one. They also want to show it to public that they're proud of their love and want the public know that they're serious. It must be very happy when your loved one accepts your proposal in public.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I never witnessed any public proposal in my life. I know that asking someone to marry you in the first place is not an easy thing to do, it needs lots of thoughts and consideration. Moreover doing it in a public place where everyone could see it, that's just adding up to the nervousness for the man. I think the reason why people do public proposal is to make a statement. He felt the need to let others know that he wants to marry her, to let others know that he is serious about that relationship and maybe he wants to be called romantic and brave or to be considered the "knight and shining armor". Either way I think marriages are a beautiful thing regardless of how they proposed or got married in the first place. But still, I would love to see someone proposed in public with my own eye.
ReplyDeletePeople care about their image, about how other people see them, down to the neurological level. We all want to be seen by others as good and decent no matter what’s the truth. Social anxieties to exist and are very common and that’s why majority of people fear embarrassing themselves in public. Peer pressure, mob mentality and countless other things show how people often go against their belief and act instinctively to avoid standing out or being not accepted. Public marriage proposal is one way to either earn the ire and dislike of countless people, strangers even, or their affection and encouragement. There’s an assumption that public proposals ensures greater success as audiences are usually in full favour and would even get involved if the person being asked hesitates, normally a bit pushy, by chanting “Say yes! Say yes!”. Some people nowadays are up to some trouble and trickery of arranging public proposals, as there’s an increased expectation that surrounds weddings these days has led to people feeling that their proposal also has to be out of the ordinary.
ReplyDeleteI think that marriage and proposals are serious personal matters between two parties and should not be taken lightly and it would actually require time for a person to consider in choosing that one person to spend their lives with. Public proposals often comes with huge public pressure that sometimes a person would not really think straight and instead just saying yes to avoid public attention and embarrassment while actually rejecting it later. However, public marriage proposals can be fun and memorable for both those who happen to witness it, and for the couple involved. There is, however, a time, place and type of person for everything ; a grand public gesture should be fitting to the situation, and the recipient must be comfortable with public attention. The proposer should also be extremely confident as there would be nothing more embarrassing than a public refusal.
DeleteDoing a proposal is a big leap in people’s life, and unfortunately, the way of doing your proposal kind of defines what kind of a person you are. In indonesia, we still believe the idea of the one who has the power to do the proposal is the man. So, I think it’s a substantial moment for men to prepare the most beautiful proposal he’ll ever do. All of the woman’s friends will usually get involved in this preparation of the proposal. Decorating the venue, buying stuff the woman likes, and many more. We can just call it a tradition of pre marriage. I haven’t seen any public proposal before, but I do think that doing this intimate activity, just within the love of your life (hopefully), in public, is not quite a good thing. It depends on the person actually, sometimes people like to become center of attention, and also, when you do it in public, there’s a chance it will be accepted just because the feeling of guilt when it happens in public.
ReplyDeleteI think the reason people proposing in public just because it is viral. Videos about proposing in public usually have a lot of views in youtube. Also, it usually shows the public proposal that end successfully and I think it makes people think that proposing in public has a higher chance of success but in fact it is just the same as private proposal. It does not really matter where you proposing marriage to someone as long as you like each other and both of you want to spend the rest of your life together.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I do not have enough courage to propose in public. Being watched with a lot of people who I do not even know, I just feel that this is not the right way to express your feeling. I would rather have a private proposal, maybe with some close friend and families in a private party.
For lovers who are serious about their relationship to the level of marriage, the application procession becomes a long-awaited moment. How not, this procession is the first step towards a happy day. Not only that, the application is also considered as a bond for couples before entering the household. Most couples often announce their application processions in the form of documentation which is then uploaded on social media. The goal is good, one of which is to share happiness with other people, both relatives and friends. However, keeping the application procession confidential also doesn't hurt, although it is different from the culture that is usually done by our society. Some considerations are the reasons.
ReplyDeleteAs explained earlier, the application procession is the first step towards marriage. A pair of lovers who are put together through a bond of engagement or engagement cannot be declared a legitimate partner. Applications are only a symbol that couples do not only bind to one another, but also unite their goals with their families. By not injuring the nature of the application, this cannot change the status of the partner to be legal. The goodness of this application is intended so that each partner holds firm to his heart until he reaches the level of his marriage later. The goal is good, which is to share happy moments so that other people also feel it. But it needs to be understood that there are some people who are sensitive and fragile in their hearts, including when you hear the happy news from you. It could be that these people have bitter experiences regarding the application procession - which in turn causes them to become vulnerable when they hear everything about the application procession. Well, to maintain the feelings of others and reduce the less pleasant responses out there, keep the application procession a step that is quite wise.
DeleteSome application programs especially those that are followed by engagements, of course need careful preparation in order to run as expected. Even though you will only invite all your family and close friends to attend, you still need to pay a fee which is enough to reduce marriage savings. Planning not to report on news that the party will certainly adjust the program held, which is simpler and has less grandeur. Of course you have heard the sad news that a couple who have made an application procession is known to fail to continue to marriage. Well, keep the application procession a secret unless it is known by the closest relatives that it is intended to anticipate the impact of such an event. If this marriage fails or is canceled, even though there are many other people who already know the news about the proposal, it is feared that it will hurt their feelings and harm their reputation. This is risky, it needs to be taken into consideration.
ReplyDeleteFrom my point of view, people who prefers to propose in public landmarks or areas, are just people with self-esteem issues, maybe they’re overconfident, maybe they’re underwhelmed. How does it feel to meet someone who is fond of looking for attention? You will definitely feel annoyed because he will often trouble you for attention. People who like to look for attention are usually because he doesn't get the attention he needs, so he goes looking for his own attention. In your life, you must have met someone who was very happy to get attention from the people around him. He will also do all kinds of ways so that he remains the center of attention. It turns out that this behavior can be a form of deviation. The person may not realize that he has a behavioral disorder. Behavioral disorders that might be sought by attention seekers are known in the world of mental health in the term histrionic. The conclusion is that asking someone to build a household is not easy, your application must be right and done as well as possible. This application must also be carefully planned to ensure that your future wife is truly touched by the sincerity of your request.
DeletePublic proposal is a western trend but it has been becoming a trend in Indonesia as well. It can be done when you’re on a trip to some vocational places and propose your significant other there. Some may find it romantic but there are some people who would prefer to be proposed privately. Sure, public proposal is very special, but for the people who are getting proposed, it would be embarrassing to turn the other party down. Honestly, I would prefer not to be proposed in public, but rather private. There’s something special about private proposal. It’s like having a secret between just the two of us. Not only does it give more sense of intimacy, but we also can bask in our excitement for as long as we want, toasting and smiling and blissfully discussing our plans for the future. When we’re ready to share, we can tell the world and continue the celebration with our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteDeciding to marry someone is a big and important thing. Because it is a big and important thing, people tend to make a proposal the most special thing so that it will be memorable. Well it depends on every people on how do they want to make it, how big or small, their financial power, and other considerate things. Big proposal is when you invest a lot of money there, involve a lot of people, and basically become a watching for other people. Meanwhile, small proposal is when it is more intimate, a simple one, and just involving both of you or closest friends and family. It is a matter of choice, and preference, on how you want to make it. For myself, I like a more intimate proposal in the future. Because I just want it to be simple, beautiful, but memorable. Everyone has their own choice and preference.
ReplyDeleteDoing such propose is consider as something that is suppose to be seriously held since it can really determine the future life of two persons. Even though it should be held serious or formal, some people find out that doing such propose does not always have to be very straight and formal; and so there are some people prefer to do propose in private or even in public. Since propose is about the decision of two person’s life, it is the man’s right to choose whether to choose propose in public or in private. But in my opinion, for those people who prefer to propose in public, one of the reason why they are doing it because they want to a lot of people out there to know that their partner is belong to them; means no one can take over her/him. The second reason is that the person wants to make their spouse to feel very special, because we know that do propose in public will need a very brave intention and huge preparation; so it is definitely a huge and sweet thing to know that someone would do propose in public for you. Thereby, when they feel special there is more possibility for the spouse to accept the propose itself.
ReplyDeleteProposal is a thing that you do before you move into the marriage process itself, so before you can marry someone you have to propose her them first. Now, proposing back then was nothing special other than just proposing, but now proposing has become something that some people think have to be special sometimes even more special than the marriage itself, that is why we usually see people proposing their loved ones in public in order to surprise them or to make it seem special so they would remember it forever, but that is what we see in foreign country or mostly western country but in Indonesia I think proposing in public is rarely seen maybe it is because of the majority of people in Indonesia is mostly muslims and in Islam to propose I think you have to come to the bride’s house and propose her right in front of her family. All in all I think there is no problem in proposing in public and the reason why they do it is because they just want to make it seem special.
ReplyDeleteWhy do some people propose in public? Hmm.. it’s a good question. I would like to share a little story of mine. I’ve never make a marriage proposal to someone (yet), but I have asked a girl to be my girlfriend in front of 160 people. So it was an exchange students orientation camp in Jakarta, 150 students that’re ready for departure to their host countries were gathered in a hotel. We’ve spent one full week together from 6 in the morning up to 10 pm at night doing seminar sessions, and followed by another 6 hours of talent show practices (10 pm to 4 am). Basically, we’ve spent 22 hours a day (alive) together in 7 days. This girl has attracted my attention and the fact that she was my dance partner for the talent show, we became close. Then, D+1 day after the talent show performance, I encouraged myself to ask her out before she actually departed to the US. Did she say yes? … :)
ReplyDeleteI’ve seen a lot of video regarding this subject matter, it’s all over the TV, Youtube, Social Media and other. There is no wrong or right in this matter, it’s just that sometimes everyone has their own way in expressing their feeling, and sometimes having a public proposal can be very interesting, there is this risk where you will be rejected or the answer will be postponed. Imagined all the shame you will take if she says no to you in front of everyone, but for men in this case sometime they don’t know the meaning of shame, men tend to take action without precautious and so, this wouldn’t be such a big deal for men. On the other hand, if she says yes, there will also be many people that was there watching you succeed in the expression of feelings. However, I personally not that type of people, imagine all the shame bro if she says no.....
ReplyDeleteWith the growth of social media, it is definite that a lot of people would like to share to everyone things that are considered special to them. One of those things that are considered special are wedding proposals. Personally, I am not a huge fan of doing such thing in public. Yes, it may be cute and interesting that a lot of people started clapping any get anticipated to hear the word “yes”, but personally I find wedding proposal is all about the intimacy of a couple instead of proving to everyone how much he or she like someone, and showing it to people that doesn’t even know the couple in the first place. in my opinion wedding proposal should be done privately or may be in front of close friends or with both family members, obviously with the agreements of both parents. That is my point of view towards public wedding proposal.
ReplyDeletePublic proposals have their own mysticism to it. It is the sharing of the joys of a relationship and a show of affection and commitment, which is a momentous move in a relationship. But then again I do understand why some people see it in a different light.
ReplyDeleteThe social pressure is surely paramount in a public space, especially a crowded one. This is of course due to the fact that the woman is expected to meet the expected result of a marriage proposal, which would of course be to accept it. And so the person who proposes takes advantage of that rush and pressure to squeeze out a "Yes". It would become an overwhelming uncomfortable situation for the person who is on the receiving end of the proposal.
But some couples enjoy that attention, or perhaps just one part of the couple. If the receiver of the proposal enjoys that kind of attention then I would think it is justified because her partner is only trying to cater to her personality.
Some people choose to have a public marriage proposal because to them it shows that they really do genuinely care about the person. Doing it in public in the view of everyone kind of supports that statement. However, a public rejection is also a risk, and it could result in embarrassment and loss of relationship by showing it to everyone. Marriage proposal should be intimate, whether or not it is public is up to the person proposing (most likely male). His judgment of the situation should be enough if he were to propose. Whether or not the person would accept, or reject. They should also think that the person in question would like a public proposal more than a private one, then go for it. But if the person in question is a rather quiet person, or an introvert in a way, he should not go for a public marriage proposal because it could not only ruin the relationship, but also ruin the girl if she feels insecure or embarrassed.
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